As a Bridezillas enthusiast, May 31 has been circled on my calendar for quite some time, as it marks the return of a program that chronicles the human condition like few others before it.
But that’s not all that’s special about the last Friday of the month.
After the Bridezillas’ 10th (and final) season kicks off, America will meet “Marriage Boot Camp: Bridezillas,” something I’ve known was coming well before a press release about it was sent my way this week. Because when you obsessively mull the meaning of each Bridezillas episode, tipsters will find their way to you.
Boils down to this: Five troubled Bridezillas couples moved into the same reality-show-cookie-cutter mansion for two weeks in order to work through their — wait for it — marriage problems. It seems that wedded bliss did NOT result from their exchange of vows.
Philly folks will take interest in the fact that diva Remi and AP sportswriter Rob Maaddi are involved in this mess (Episodes they appeared on here and here). See?
Also on the nine-episode show:
Danni & Marlon (Episode One — in which the co-star is already divorced — and Episode Two)
and, Kirsten & Seth.
Yes, THAT Kirsten and Seth. CRAZY KIRSTEN AND SETH.
Here are some choice excerpts from the MBC:B press kit that was sent my way (and it seems as if we’re treading into borderline Divorce Court crossover areas here):
“Seth thinks their lines of communication are non-existent and he’s ready to throw in the towel. Kirsten is overly dramatic with a high pitched voice to match. She becomes histrionic when confronted with a difference of opinion – usually her husband’s. When that happens, Seth becomes passive aggressive and withdraws. Kirsten thinks Seth doesn’t find her attractive since she had the baby.”
“Melissa has even gone as far as changing names on her cell phone to hide male callers and admits to getting caught in lies in order to protect her innocence. Chris is always playing the victim in their relationship, which Melissa admits has caused her to lose some respect for him.”
“Porsha is a loud, aggressive, and overbearing former Bridezilla, while Byron is seemingly the more reserved and quiet one with very little to say. There are major jealousy and trust issues in their marriage with Porsha convinced that Byron is cheating.”
“Marlon’s traditional views of women and Danni’s lack of housekeeping skills only serves to create a bigger wall between them. To compensate, she talks fast and furious; he becomes mute and passive aggressive.”
“Rob is an egotistical, make-up wearing sports reporter who vies for the attention of women. Remy is jealous of his female friends, who Rob contends have to be pretty to hang around him. Rob in turn, is frustrated by Remy’s out of control spending and her refusal to take his career seriously. Rob continually belittles Remy while she badgers him to comply with her wishes.”
Yeah. This’ll be fun.
As will, it seems, Bridezillas. To wit:
The brides on season ten Bridezillas are hotter, foxier…and downright badder than ever before! From throwing temper tantrums to making violent threats against family and friends, witness what happens to a woman in the time between “will you marry me” and “I do.”
For the final season of BRIDEZILLAS, some of reality TV’s most notorious divas will plan their weddings as the camera rolls. Viewers will be reintroduced to former “Survivor” contestant Roxy Birchfield, a fame-seeking narcissist who eloped with her husband after knowing him for only three weeks. One year later, Roxy isn’t satisfied with getting her big day and now that her short-lived reality stint is up, she’s desperate to get another 15 minutes by becoming the ultimate Bridezilla. Also, former “Russian Dolls” reality star Marina Levitis is through having the cameras follow her life and to celebrate her 20-year wedding anniversary with an over-the-top vow-renewal ceremony, Marina is planning the biggest event in New York City and one of the fanciest nuptials in the history of the series.
More soon.