Cristal’s 24. She’s from Milwaukee and works as something called an appraisal coordinator.
She met her groom-to-be doing a production of Little Shop of Horrors in high school. So, you can tell where this is going already, that being where a bridezilla’s groompiece will defy her wishes and go tanning anyway when she...
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So, Daphne’s a broad-shouldered, barrel-breasted, thiiiick-calved, broad-lowerbodied, tat-adorned 20-year-old from Georgia by way of South Dakota. She plays with guns. She makes the bridemaids wear Asian gear. She’s a paranoid and lashes out often.
“It’s always been a stress-reliever for me just to have a gun in my hand,” she said.
What’s clear: Her...
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If we can agree on one thing in our crazy mixed-up world, let’s make it this: Bridezillas Tifani and Johanne will — if such a place exists — sizzle in Hellfire for eternity.
Tifani: for making laxative brownies for one of her groomsmen for lying about getting fitted for a tux and...
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Well, well, well, if it ain’t dumbo-eared Kera again. And the hell if she don’t get out-skanked by her episode-mate Tifani, the princess of the ghetto gutter.
She from Shreveport, La. She gonna ruin the life of “cement contractor slash music producer” Jonathan, who can’t even remember how they met. This is...
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One would think having lived on earth for 23 years with elven ears, Kera would be a little more grounded. She has a lot working against her. Yet, here she is telling her mother that she looks like a cheap whore and whatnot. So vapid.
But seriously, she can’t grow hair bushy enough to cover...
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Kim, a roomy gal, is an accountant and event planner. She’s marrying some smoove cat named Walter. Actually, she says she married smoove cat Walter 10 years ago and, four years in, talked about renewing their vows and whatnot.
This makes no fucking sense at all.
WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE RENEWING THEIR VOWS...
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Ruby’s a 25-year-old registered nurse from Austin, Texas. Apparently she’s dropped a lot of weight. She’s also gained a lot of screamy condescending dramatics. Wonder what’s joining to happen when she puts those 100 pounds back on.
Ruby gives the bridesmaids tasks to the point that they’ve already tuned her out altogether. Particularly...
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I’ve watched a lot of white trash television, but I’ve never seen anything like Marissa, of Loveland, Colo. She has a list of men’s names tattooed on her. They’re the ones who knocked her up already. She’s 22. She already has four kids. Jonathan, a tree farmer and “hip-hop artist,” is lined...
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Goddamnit. Mouthy tanning-salon skank Kim isn’t back on my TV yelling and screaming at everybody in sight. She’s an unbearably horrendous being, the way she talks to those she’s supposed to care about. If karma exists, some really bad shit’s laying in wait.
Can’t. Bear. To. Look. At. Her. For. One. More. Second. So,...
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Oh good, they start with Danielle putting a tiara on her “delusional diva” head. She’s 37, and an operations manager from Chicago. She’s marrying some cat named Virgil, who she says she didn’t think was attractive, but he says pursued him. Either way, it was the worst thing that could have happened...
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