Eat-Sh*t-and-Die Contest Winner!

With a story so depraved as a kid at your alma mater dropping a deuce in a classmate’s cup during auto shop, and the class a-gigglin’ as he slurps it on down, it’s just not right to ever close it to entries of essays ala the one a Camden County judge assigned the perpetrator to crap out.

But as of 6 p.m., on the sixth day of the sixth month, the winning entry came from fellow 1991 Haddon Township High alum Brad Eagan, who penned this little ditty …

It’s no good to eat poo
Because it’s made in the loo
And it sticks to the bottom of your shoe

It’s no good to eat poo
Cause it’s brown and quite stinky
And if you feed it to friends they might sue.

Think you can upper-deck that? Fire away!

And Brad, the poo-free Slurpee’s on me next time I’m in tha Twp.