America’s favorite devolution of parent- and grand-parenthood was in Vegas this week. So, you know it’s going to be a shitshow right off the bat. It didn’t disappoint. But as with all things Vegas, there’s a good side.
I think that’s where I ended up with Kylee, pictured above with a pair of midgets painted like the Blue Man Group. Her seemingly single father Marty is a overly willing pageant dad. He wears an “I Support Single Moms” T-shirt, you know the one’s with silhouettes of strippers on poles. But, he also ended up seeming like a dude who just genuinely wants his kid to be happy. And I abide by that.
Anyway, Kylee did an I Dream of Jeannie skit. She fell out of bottle and off back of stage. But she got back up and rose to the heights of Mini Grand Supreme. Bravo.
Elizabeth is a different story altogether. Her plastic grandmom took her to the pageant via helicopter. That’s how you make a spoiled adult out of a spoiled kid real quick like.
Pageant judge “Cher” said Elizabeth reminded him/her “of a beautiful drag queen I know.”
Elizabeth later noted that she “found out he was a boy.” Good call.
