Not only do the Orioles have to play their home games in that syphilis pit by the harbor, but now, their only fans ride horse-and-buggies to the stadium. So sad. “Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter signs a few baseballs for…
Tag: baltimore orioles
The Orioles surpass the Syphilitic Magic Number*! (with 19 games to spare)
My work here is done. I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did. Detroit — Miguel Cabrera’s giant shadow loomed in the batter’s box even before David Hernandez threw his first pitch to pinch hitter Austin Jackson,…
Syphilitic Magic Number*
Baltimore Orioles: 53-87 If the Whorioles go 22-0, I lose. If the Whorioles go 21-1, I win. Cal Ripken’s no better than a pedo. * – tracking the Baltimore Whorioles magnificent march toward an 87.5+ loss season, all so I…
Syphilitic Magic Number*
So insane are matters in the Syphilis Capital of the Universe that, on a Whorioles fan forum, this was the title of a recent post … The best last-place team you’ll ever see Fuckin’ adorable. But to a certain extent,…
Syphilitic Magic Number*
Fine. New manager’s lit a fire ‘neath the Whorioles, hasn’t he? Whatever. Even Houdini got caught up in his chains from time to time. But, what I know is this: – The Whorioles got shut-out by the mighty Seattle Mariners…
Syphilitic Magic Number*
With today’s 5-4 loss to the powerhouse Kansas City Royals, the Whorioles not only closed out Juan Samuel’s brief managerial reign with a 17-34 record, dropped Cy Young candidate Kevin Millwood to 2-11 and established a SMN* of … ……
Syphilitic Magic Number*
* – tracking the Baltimore Whorioles magnificent march toward an 87.5+ loss season, all so I win a twenty-dollar bill, yo.
Finally, Syphilitic Meltdowns Caught on Tape!
Thank you, Baltimore, for throwing the towel so very, very in that you refuse to even Tase. In related news, the SMN* sits at 23.
Syphilitic Magic Number*
I’m going to break with jersey-number-representing-the-SMN form. It’s 24. The O-No’s have to win 44 of 68 remaining games for me to lose The Bet of All Bets. Ain’t happening. But mysteriously, the Worst News Bears of Balmer actually drew…
Syphilitic Magic Number* (All-Star Break Edition)
It’s amazing to type All-Star in the same sentence as Baltimore Orioles, but rules is rules, and since one player from each team goes to the MLB’s annual Great Marketing Event, you will hear second-baseman Ty Wigginton’s name at some…