“I look like a Kennedy!”
Welcome to the BHgoesNYC episode of Rich Kids. Going out on an intellectual limb here, I suspect this means Beverly Hills Goes New York City.
And, lo and behold, it does!!!
Boob Louber wants to ramp up her blog, and there’s a new tagline!!! “funny AND pretty” it reads. Morgan explains the pertinence of said phrase to Dorothy thusly: “Being pretty and funny are two very different things.”
SO TRUE!!!
To this end, they are planning a super awesome “relaunch” party, and a stylist was hired to help put this thing together. Buzz generation. THAT is the name of the game!
There are a lot of shoes, bags, jewelry and dresses involved. “When you don’t know what to get,” says Boob Louber, “you buy it all.”
The discussion then delves into vaginas, boobs and asses. Because of course it does.
Cut to a scene of Dorothy moving out of her parents’ house. Five miles away. But it’s like such a big deal omg.
“You are growing up,” says Dorothy’s mother. “You are a big girl. Ok, be a little girl. Love you forever. Always.”
Typed out, those lines seem a bit creepy. They’re made creepier when daughter says bye in a porcelain-doll voice.
This is the point when they cut back to Boob Louber saying she’s willing to spend $25K on the blog relaunch party.
You know what I’m willing to spend for a blog-relaunch party? A round of Jagerbombs at Murphy’s or Krupa’s. This would’ve been “Blog Relaunches of the Rich and Famous Jitbag-Magnet Session” if Boob Louber and Dorothy weren’t more likeable that most reality folk.
Anyway, they delve into a discussion about sleep-over etiquette and post some photos on Instagram because posting some photos on Instagram is their sustenance.
Jonny lights some sage because that’s apparently what must be done anytime anyone ever moves into a new property.
Boob Louber got her first-ever writing assignment. This is something many writers can say before they turn 19. But, whatever. Boobs, loubs.
Off to New York (remember the title of the show!!!). Going through her jackets with Balding Realtor, she points out that the fur vest would work great if she had to go to New Jersey during the excursion.
Nineteen minutes into the episode, they arrive at their NY hotel. Boob Louber wastes no time alienating her potential ginger readership …
Then, they make a big deal out of cronuts. It’s as if they’re Wonka-golden-ticket rarities. Well lookie here: Turns out the place they went for cronuts had run out of cronuts and that prompts a free-market debate of a eighth-grade level that ends with Dorothy taking the bold stance of not Instagramming ANYTHING about that stupid, fucking bakery. That’ll learn ’em for sure.
Oh, Roxy’s with them. Her highlight: Trying to open a bottle of wine without the assistance of servants. Also, her boobs were practically busting out of a revealing red top as she recounted seeing people banging across the street. That was probably more of a highlight for certain audiences.
And that’s about that for this week’s episode.