Always one to over-prepare, I started setting aside noteworthy tweets on January 1, 2019 figuring I’d do my annual Tweets Of The Year post for the media outlet where I worked.
Well, I don’t work at a media outlet anymore!
But I have all these awesome Tweets saved!
So I’m going to post them here on Philly Blunt!
Yay!!!
They’ll be loosely grouped by category, and the best will be saved for the end. And away we go!
GINUWINE DIDN’T LOSE THAT LOVIN’ FEELIN
If you asked yourself, does the Top Gun trailer work with Pony … well I think you know the answer pic.twitter.com/fegVLeVkmF
— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) July 18, 2019
CLEAN UP ON AISLE SEVEN
Ima come clean…a Sunset Flip on the Hard ass Walmart floor might be the wildest thing I've seen all month pic.twitter.com/WZ0ntSAP4l
— WorkWifeWhisperer (@Papi_2Cupz) July 27, 2019
BRAND CLAPBACK
It’s literally what we do, Maureen. https://t.co/lXFmt5NXK3
— Goodyear Blimp (@GoodyearBlimp) September 7, 2019
R.I.P. GOD
What the fuck, Twitter.
Seriously.
What the fuck.
What the fuck is this. pic.twitter.com/NQwcRXFWg7— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 11, 2019
R.I.P. LARRY
oh my god pic.twitter.com/RTuiHSl8cW
— SCP-173 (@INHALANTXABUSE) October 8, 2019
WHAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF BABY YODA?
what does he want pic.twitter.com/41qySeRrHQ
— caleb (@caleb_blog) May 27, 2019
JOKER LAUGH
Dude did the 1950s Joker laugh after knocking a cop down pic.twitter.com/1SzP8QoOks
— Number 1 Cape Verdean in the World (@abcdefghijkLMAO) January 4, 2019
VIVA LAS VEGAS
My buddy blacked out last night, took an uber to the airport alone and got on a flight to vegas. Halfway to vegas he woke up, looked at the lady sitting next to him and said "where the fuck am I?" He is stuck in vegas til Tues and this is the pic he sent. Thats all he has. pic.twitter.com/C0Rm1aJR2w
— Enzo the Baker (@menzotoliosis) July 28, 2019
BATS ON A PLANE!
me, twice a year: “i’ll never fly spirit again.”
me, this morning, after deciding i’d rather save 12 dollars: pic.twitter.com/ASqk3bb89j— Peter Scattini (@jpscattini) July 31, 2019
REQUISITE SCREAMING-COWBOY CONTENT
do not wear green on TV and if you're going to wear green on TV do not wear it next to SOMEONE ELSE WEARING THE SAME GREEN THING ON TV OR THIS WILL HAPPEN TO YOU pic.twitter.com/y9vsX7qgWB
— Matt MEET THE PRESS IS SANCTUARY FOR LIARS Negrin (@MattNegrin) March 13, 2019
REQUISITE NIC CAGE CONTENT
Important: It has come to my attention that Nic Cage has a beefy goth son pic.twitter.com/KX7M6fobCb
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) March 27, 2019
REQUISITE POLITICAL CONTENT
Donald Trump’s new FEMA administrator. Because Florida. pic.twitter.com/ktMk8fKk2l
— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) September 2, 2019
I still laugh at this video lmao pic.twitter.com/ujHX6fHeAm
— IG: Jorgebedolla_ (@JbKnockout) August 2, 2019
Nah, last time there was a joke at a debate it became president. https://t.co/7glq9lfUwS
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) August 1, 2019
They missed approximately the entire point of a National Park https://t.co/oLNAtuZBQs
— James Ray (@MakeItRayn_) November 7, 2019
https://twitter.com/ideuhz/status/1145741146892599296?s=20
Threepio, tell them if they don't do as you wish, you'll become angry and use your magic. https://t.co/XLHKsnEUxF
— Nando (@WhoreNando) September 16, 2019
More presidential candidates should have mustaches pic.twitter.com/xD9kFxFW7O
— the evil capitalism toilet guy (@dagotron) May 11, 2019
SPIT TAKE
THIS JUST HAPPENED LIVE!!! pic.twitter.com/vEYfjtTo7S
— Valerie Breiman (@ValerieBreiman) March 22, 2019
LIL SEBASTIAN?
Arnold Schwarzenegger's TikTok is sublime pic.twitter.com/7rjZR1gNYO
— Toenails (@joetoenails) March 22, 2019
AW
You guys, the otter is telling the human how to pet it and I am now deceased.
— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) August 27, 2019
You eating fried Pikachu? https://t.co/VilxnRFalC
— Mango Juice Lover (@fadecorner) August 3, 2019
When you meet your soulmate on twitter, but they live 3000 miles away pic.twitter.com/665IW3jmU9
— HITCH (@titanmoon10) April 15, 2019
FRESH CUT
What kinda barbershop is this…? pic.twitter.com/FTvZoQFi58
— Guy (@apiecebyguy) August 31, 2019
GO BIRDS (AND PHILLY IN GENERAL)
This is a stand up guy that a lot of young players can look up to. This is how you handle adversity like a pro. Cody is a heck of a kicker and will be for a long time. No reason to be taking the heat he is especially when that ball was tipped. #ClassAct https://t.co/Ae2kr0DYIy
— Jake Elliott (@jake_elliott22) January 7, 2019
Everything in Virginia named after Robert E. Lee needs to be renamed after Allen Iverson.
— NUFF (@nuffsaidny) January 19, 2019
(1) So I got summoned to jury duty and obvi was not looking forward to it. Little did I know that jury duty in the City of Philadelphia is an experience of its own…
— Nishhhhhh (@BigNeeeesh) March 7, 2019
You sure can call me Bryce. I bet this will be a real ‘grand slam’ of a friendship. Let’s have a catch sometime this summer at the Bank! #PhillyLoaded https://t.co/QN9ZcBMhIZ
— Bryce Harper (@bryceharper3) March 11, 2019
— sam (@PocketbookKing) April 21, 2019
“..and back in the game comes Furkan” pic.twitter.com/Cm22LxyFE8
— Chartisse (@SnowmanEmbiid) October 27, 2019
man philly DIFFERENT. i seen a fucking service goat posted up this morning lol pic.twitter.com/q7h3CJ4BU4
— nikki (@nikkiserrrano) September 10, 2019
This might be one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time pic.twitter.com/i80VtxdJAZ
— Josh Lyons (@TheLyons_Den) May 22, 2019
My friend was at a bar in Old City yesterday when this beefy dude stopped at a table outside, emptied two 5 hour energy shots into two bottles of Muscle Milk and then walked away, presumably to commit an aggravated assault.
Visit Philadelphia. pic.twitter.com/NQ2jKvBytB
— Max M. Marin (@MaxMMarin) July 28, 2019
OH SNAP
We have a male cheerleader who looks better than you
— BigMike McD (@eagleyez317) October 6, 2019
I’m sorry I can’t hear broke.. https://t.co/X3TS3mgweH
— T H E J I A N T (@Jackthejiant) January 15, 2019
The Saints dancing in the locker room after the game pic.twitter.com/Yfr24EWYhF
— Moneybagg Yo (hannes) (@AronYohannes) January 20, 2019
& hes making a list
& hes checking it twice
& hes gonna found out
Who is naughty or
Nice now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go— STREAM 6 FEET ON SPOTIFY (@LeftAtLondon) November 18, 2019
The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and still isn’t as sensitive as a white man on the Internet
— Qlayre (@thisisqlayre) January 23, 2019
Bitch please https://t.co/P6qTXiavjm
— Mt. St. Helens (@MtStHelensWA) February 8, 2019
Instead of "anti-vaxxers" we should call them "plague enthusiasts"
— Dreadful E (@EvilCEOE) February 25, 2019
I am thrilled to announce that I do not know which one is Tinsley Mortimer and which one of Bertil Espergren. https://t.co/oBpEunlWJS
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) March 12, 2019
President Carter is just out of frame, laughing too pic.twitter.com/VhY9PBDaA7
— class struggle with the countess (@thefouchoe) May 5, 2019
https://twitter.com/MichaelSctMoore/status/1142514916961599488?s=20
YAS QUEENS
who is this woman we have to stan. pic.twitter.com/Wh5pTpCdHL
— ᴅʏʟᴀɴ (@selception) September 21, 2019
She said it in a locker room. I thought that made it ok.
— SnarkingBoojum (@SBoojum) June 26, 2019
https://twitter.com/Avryyyy/status/1087454814164811776?s=20
YAS KINGS
oh dear god they’ve armed him https://t.co/3v7XiArJrR
— Katie Nolan (@katienolan) August 24, 2019
https://twitter.com/UnbalancedMemes/status/1159846461271621632?s=20
This turf war looks serious… pic.twitter.com/fgfUuIXgA0
— Guy (@apiecebyguy) August 17, 2019
Amir Garrett vs. The Pirates.
#Reds @Amir_Garrett pic.twitter.com/o3o1brNdiL— Sam Greene (@SGdoesit) July 31, 2019
New Edition – If It Isn't Love pic.twitter.com/DUpVeFlZyu
— Kentah Gwanjez (@GWANJEZ) May 24, 2019
This is a video everyone should get to see pic.twitter.com/1QAlDIFveD
— lexie edwards (@lexxiedwards) May 17, 2019
WHOA
In reality plants are actually farming us by giving us oxygen daily untill we eventually decompose so they can consume us… https://t.co/szCQb0fqDa
— anderson (@xvkinggg) November 17, 2019
how do you enter this pool https://t.co/QR0MNgW036
— Abby Govindan (@abbygov) June 6, 2019
UP UP AND AWAY!
I’ve literally watched this video 30 times. pic.twitter.com/7mqgTESxZQ
— Scott Charles (@TheScottCharles) January 30, 2019
https://twitter.com/illucifer/status/1156240196653977600?s=11
BEST OF THE BEST
Scientist: hey you're back early
Diver: ocean's haunted
Scientist: what?
Diver: *loading a pistol and getting back in the submarine* ocean's haunted https://t.co/Kr1N6ANLU5
— Matt Abernathy (@Matt_Abernathy) September 6, 2019
Internet: No way 30-50 hogs rolling up on someones yard ever happened…
30-50 Hogs:#feralhogs pic.twitter.com/4xhcZnwXCV
— MediaBitch (@_MediaBitch) August 6, 2019
tired of these mfs pic.twitter.com/NX6G3I2TMi
— Dick Foo (@DickFooDog) July 16, 2019
Imagine walking in on your girl and she’s using a permanent marker to write “I ❤️ lil B” on her ass.
— Keyser Söze (@365imfly) February 17, 2019
one time someone i know got rejected by a life insurance company because of her dangerous hobby of "rock climbing," but the letter they sent said "cock climbing" instead, and she sent a copy of the letter back like "did u just call me a whore" and then they insured her
— i bless the rains down in castamere (@Chinchillazllla) February 28, 2019
My girlfriend shouldn’t have to sit in a car seat https://t.co/8ysuCPw0ed
— The Amos Foreskin III, Jr. With the Pearl Earring (@WAForeskins) March 7, 2019
https://twitter.com/patriickdoyle/status/1105646546018881536?s=11
so I was accidentally placed in a group chat with these ladies…and I’m sorry barb… LMAO pic.twitter.com/y50Ke0JoVh
— black mamba (@cyberc00tie) October 31, 2019
get her ass. drag her. absolutely destroy her pic.twitter.com/IPpFCC1Yft
— Marxist No-Malarkeyist (@DxGGEAUX) March 14, 2019
Well that’s just your opinion!!! pic.twitter.com/PI1gWx9KHl
— pat (@MatrickPcHale) June 2, 2019
OMG, big boi Mr. B is a CHONK. He’s a chonk of a chonk. He redefines the term. Can you guess how much he weighs? More importantly, can you give him a home? Adopt this jumbo-sized package of fluff & love: https://t.co/v8aB6PzBbL. Please RT to help this sad-eyed guy find happiness! pic.twitter.com/tquRuvRaws
— MORRIS ANIMAL REFUGE (@MorrisAnimal) August 22, 2019
JUST IN: 2 local friends see each other unexpectedly on the street in New York City
— NYC Scanner (@NYScanner) September 9, 2019
nevermind
— Faux Pelini (@FauxPelini) December 19, 2019