“Sharknado 2: The Second One” was a magnificent piece of movie-making that aired for the first time on SyFy last night. In watching it closely, I’ve come to the conclusion that these two clips are emblematic of the awesome that Ian Ziering and Tara Reid shared with America — nay, the world — as part of this remarkable artistic expression.
1) Ms. Reid lost a hand to an airborne shark that she’d been trying to kill with a gun while hanging out of the side of a troubled aircraft, kept safe only by her grip on a seatbelt-cord or something of the like.
2) When a shark invaded a ferry boat en route to Manhattan from the Ellis Island and its embattled Statue of Liberty, which would be decapitated to the point that its head became something akin to the boulder chasing Indiana Jones, it got Tased.
3) Mr. Biz Markie, in this circumstance a pizza maker, stabbed one shark heartily before Mr. Zierling pizza plattered it into an oven.
Oh, many people died. But not everyone. People win!