Dear Pat Hickey of Montreal …

… Do me a favor and quit fucking whining about your car getting trashed outside the Wachovia Center. People might think we’re related, and I’m not related to any bitchboys.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Brian Hickey

P.S. If you continue, I’ll tell America all about how the young men in your town physically assault people if they don’t speak French or scoff when told that “it’s customary to tip the doorman.” Or how the strippers punch people in the face for no good reason. Don’t believe me? Try any club on Saint Catherine. You won’t need your car to get there, I’m sure.