After the first episode of Dating Naked, Kerri kept Meat Manager Louie and Chris kept Angie in the mix.
But there will be new noodz as well! Carolyn from Houston is first up; she claps when Chris says he doesn’t have any kids yet. Carolyn ain’t got time for that, in which that = kids.
“Salt water and vaginas do not mix,” she says, worrying about yeast infections during the first date, a spear-fishing adventure.
Kerri draws Spicoli-esque surf-rat David from San Diego. Here, he describes himself:
He thinks Kerri is a “fox.”
As for his job, “I was collecting unemployment. Now I’m just, like, living life.”
Chris and Carolyn catch, and fillet, fish for their date meal. He’s impressed by her strength.
Spicoli, who was on Big Brother 15, and Kerri talk about how his dad cheated on his mom and now he wants to carve a new life path whereby his lineage is one of family stability. His Twitter account, per a trusted source, is a mess. Aw.
When Louie meets Spicoli, he’s taken aback by the fact that the surfer boy doesn’t wear hair gel. Spicoli likens the East Coasters in the naked crowd to a bunch of “mushers” or something like that, brah.
Spicoli then starts talking about the other dudes, likening Chris to Ariel’s dad in The Little Mermaid. Then, there’s some talk about donkey dicks.
Anyhoo, Kerri and Louie get to kissing. Looks like Spicoli’s on the outs.
Dates two arrive!
Intro’d naked to Chris is Katie from Winston-Salem, NC. She’s instantly caught looking at his dong. She has a lot of ink but scant tan lines. She says she’ll spank his white ass “so hard later.”
Intro’d naked to Kerri is ghost-hued strawng-strutter “Goldman from Ozone Park, NY.”
That’s about all we’ll say about that. Just weird.
But anyway, Katie and whateverhisname is get to shooting some big-ass paintball guns. I got a Vine of it.
So, Spicoli is talking smack on the other dudes to Naked Kerri. I hope he gets rejected at his next reality-show tryout. Bad seed.
Etc. Etc.
Chris trades keeper Angie in for Katie; Angie is gracious about this insofar as even she saw the connection. Kerri retains the meat-managin’ service of Louie.
These were predictable, justifiable retentions.