Christ Almighty, I hope this is Jeanine‘s last appearance on the show (appearance one, appearance two).
So, apparently, does her beau Thomas’ family who he says is “100 percent against Jeanine.”
Considering they start on the day-of-wedding, it’s likely to be so. This proves God exists.
She calls him a dick when he drives her to the salon, at which she’s an hour late. There, she questions her sister’s choice in hairstyling and has difficulty grasping the meaning of the “two birds, one stone” phrase.
She flips out about bubble wrap. And centerpieces.
There’s some weird about the coloring around her eyes. Not the makeup. The flesh tone. That, and around her eyebrows. This becomes evident when she brings up the life-insurance policies again.
They barely get to City Hall in time to get the marriage license. Shame for Thomas that they did.
From there:
• She gets into a screaming match outside the hotel with a bridesmaid (her sister-in-law-to-be) who was outside smoking. Something about the ladylike-ness of such a thing. The wedding photographer — a Gilbert-Grape-mommy type — captures this scene on film.
• Her smoove dad makes an appearance, his face summing up everyone involved’s feeling on the looming nuptials:
• Best-man Brad makes good on his promise to tell Thomas to run as she walks up the aisle.
• This seems to have taken hold in Thomas’ mind when an awkward Bible verse is read. He proceeds to note, in his vows, that many might not understand their love.
• She responds, in her vows, by saying, “I still look back at the first day we met, I looked into your eyes, and at that moment, I knew you were a one-night stand. It’s surprising we made it this far.”
• It takes him an extended time to answer “I will” to taking her hand in marriage. He had his out. He failed to take it. What a pussy.
• Then along comes the reception. Jeanine’s dad blows it off. Wanted no friggin’ part of it and asked to be taken home. So, Jeanine kicks Thomas’ dad out. “He’s not coming back in here,” she says.
• “Stay out of my life. Don’t you ever come into my life,” Thomas’ dad says to his spiteful cunt of a new daughter-in-law.
• Now she’s crying when Thomas’ dad comes back in. You guys can go find him a new wife, she says. “Who was your son before he met me?” she’s scream crying. “Watch your son fall and burn,” she adds before walking to the bus stop and checking the Thursday night schedule before returning to ask her sister for the 8:40 p.m. bus: “He’s not my husband. Why you keep saying that?”
• Finally, it comes to Thomas — who is not wearing his wedding band — and Jeanine outside on the street. He claims “you don’t shut your mouth long enough to listen to me” and runs off a litany of people she has disrespected, most of all the family who refused to show up at her wedding.
“You need to shut up,” he says, accurately. “You think you can walk all over everybody. You will constantly be alone? How many friends you got? You just lost your husband, your father’s gone. Are we the ones with the problem?”
She says yes.
He invites her to continue going through life like that.
“I will be definitely OK. And I will wake up tomorrow,” Jeanine concludes. “Yes, I love you but yes, I love myself more.”
Thomas’ father then says that the evening went “much better than expected.”
Wow. What a putrid excuse for a human being, this one is.
Meet Rochelle. The show introduces her by asking her manpiece whether he’s planning to show up at the wedding. She’s 18, from San Antonio. Nathan’s in the Army. Kind of looks like Shute from Vision Quest. If Shute from Vision Quest resorted to quick marryin’ a chick he’s been together with for six months, two of which they’ve been physical proximity.
They talk about how he dropped deuce in front of her and farts when they’re banging, the first rendezvous lasting a minute.
She seems quite mature, in that she says “I want” as often, and has the same grasp on budget matters, as my two-year-old. “Mentally, you’re 12,” says her mom.
She yaps about how annoying he is by asking her help in preparing brunch for bridesmaids’ he’s not yet met. He smiles his way through it; seems like a decent enough fellow. You can see why he deals with this when she talks about banging the minutes the eaters are gone.
They show her getting her armpits waxed. She says she wants to get her eyebrows “permed.” She and maid-of-honor start talking about whose boobs and ass is better. She then makes him “suck and suck harder” to get something sticky off her jeans.
Later, she admits, “I just don’t like a lot of people.” Probably mutual. Seems like it’s on the rocks when Nathan takes off for a run after refusing to answer when she asks whether he still wants to get married. We’ll see how this goes next week, suppose.