Rudy Alvarado says his wife Tania Miller is a cougar. Tania Miller admits she’s a cougar. And that she always has sex on the brain. In fact, her desire to “want to serve dinner in different ways” led her to get up on the table, red sexy lace unmentionables, and have the plate sitting there betwixt her upper inner thighs.
So anyway, Tania Miller just sounds dirty who would just bang anybody left at the corner bar at last call. (Or at least servicing dudes in the parking lot throughout the evening.)
“When she serves me tacos and watermelon, I feel she’s making fun of me,” said Rudy, who’s of Latin descent. Judge Lynn says there ain’t no fun-making going on in that scenario.
Tania pulls out a sheer black thong that cost her $40: “I love the bling.” Rudy doesn’t think they have the money to fund such regular purchases.
“When I first met her, she wasn’t like that,” he said.
Translation: Slutty enough to have neighbors driving up the street to watch her wash the car each Saturday in her bikini. “I wear booty shorts,” she counters. “If you don’t get what you want at home, hypothetically you will go to the neighbors house after a while.”
When she takes her sweater, it becomes evidence that she works out. Bodybuilder competitions. Really fucking stacked guns, yo. And that puts this into a different perspective. Here’s my take: Tania muscles Rudy the fuck around. Sportfucking him. Wanting it two, three times a day. And Rudy just ain’t fucking man enough to give it to her — or, have it taken from him, which is more likely the case — several times a day.
Translation: He’s a pussy.
So anyway, she has a “fine” 25-year-old assistant who checks her out all the time. Rudy came home one time and Tania and said assistant were in the bedroom. They were doing paperwork, she said. Even though there was no paperwork. The next day, the assistant was shirtless. She said because he was moving stuff, and it was hot out.
Furthermore, he caught his best friend and his wife kissing. She says, “But they’re two hot blondes right in front of you, I didn’t think it’d be that big deal. But he walked right out, pouting like a six year old.”
His best friend’s a lady.
A lady who’s giving his wife what he should’ve been giving her all along.
Rudy’s fucking out. Everybody else is fucking in.