As I sit here at 5 a.m. watching Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, a moment of clarity arrives: What Morgan Stewart presents as the world of blogging is exactly what blogging is.
Dare not you think that this is just how blogging looks for the racky uber rich.
EVERYBODY wakes up and check out Instagram and throws a hissy fit because their friends posted a photo that has their face blurred out. COMPLETELY BLURRED OUT INTO NON-EXISTENCE!
“That’s unfortunately the reality that we live in, where Instagram DOES matter,” says the Boob Louber.
YES! INSTAGRAM DOES MATTER!!!!! IT MATTERS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON EARTH AND IF YOU DON’T AGREE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD MOVE TO SOMEWHERE POPULATED BY THE UGLIES!
L’Affair Instagram continues throughout breakfast, even when Roxy shows up at the penthouse hotel room.
Ugh.
So, there’s something called Trendabl or whatever. It’s a fashion app or whatever. They’re hosting a pop-up shop and that’s where Boob Louber — who hopes to write the “All-American Girl Book” — is going.
At this pop-up shop — of which Boob Louber gets a sneak peek — there’s a T-shirt that says “WTF Where’s The Food?”
DO YOU GET IT? WTF DOESN’T ALWAYS MEAN WHERE’S THE FOOD. SOMETIMES IT MEANS “WHAT THE FUCK” which is exactly what I’m thinking when Boob Louber or compatriot avers that “this is the future of shopping.”
Again, we go back to how this show is emblematic of the American Blogger Experience.
Anyway, Roxy’s breastuses are all practically hanging out of her red top again. Now, I’m no fashion maven, but doesn’t the fact that Roxy’s breastuses have practically fallen out of a red top on two consecutive episodes speak to her lack of fashion foresight as opposed to properly highlighting a presentable bosom?
Dorothy and EJ — “Diamond divas” that they are — go on a shopping/Instagramming/gossiping spree.
Wearing leopard print gloves as she dicks around with her phone again, Dorothy tells a clerk somewhere that “This is what happens when People From Beverly Hills come to New York: Fabulous moments happen!”
The next fabulous moment involves Roxy asking if her “vagina is showing” during a “photo shoot” at some place she just decorated.
The NEXT fabulous moment is when someone calls their hotel-room chime a “rape whistle.”
Perfect segue into the Trendabl event!!!!!
Morgan hopes that her head is filled with not the normal three voices, but only one on this HASHTAG HUGE HUGE NIGHT. “Check this out, baby. I’m that man. I’m that man,” is what one of the “paparazzi” is saying to get the BH threesome to look his way.
Then comes the moment that should disgust all Americans, whether they be white, black, rich or poor. Roxy does not know who Ol Dirty Bastard is. I can’t say anything more about that. We must let the Vine speak for itself.
Then they show All American Girl Blogger Who Represents The Reality of American Blogging asking the guy at the pop-up shop when he’d like to see her post go live.
That fella in the picture above the ODB Vine is David Yi, “fashion journalist.” We can get into the whole “how journalistic is writing about garments” issue some other time.
I only point him out because he’s to whom Boob Louber was talking to when she said that she’s not exactly the “Ann Sawyer” of the journalism world. Ann Sawyer. Ann. Sawyer. Not Diane Sawyer. Ann Sawyer.
He’s also the guy who gives Ann Sawyer With Tits and Boots journalism advice at the pop-up shop.
Boob Louber gets all wound up about how that “pip squeak” with “blond tips” was trying to tell HER what to do. That “kid” was a “twerp,” says the rich girl with a laptop and the misperception that she’s a writer because she has money and a TV show that affords her access to events like whatever this pop-up shop is.
FF to the morning: She and the gang are fawning over comments posted on the site overnight.
This season and this show can’t end soon enough.
