Well, this episode of Dating Naked started out with a freakish bang, what with Frankie from Detroit making Kerri uneasy because of his dong comfort …
… and unicorn-headed ferret-fan lady Mariah of Las Vegas (pictured above), who is really over-the-top hyper and concerned that gravity could leave her in the water-sled-skiing position of boobs striking face. Anyhoo, she burps during an interview, says she’s overcome a Vegas partying lifestyle via yoga, spills what appears to be Corona on her bosom and irks the other ladies of Naked House with bongo drums.
Central casting for a Bunny Microwavist, she’s quite special.
Lady Contestant No. 2 is named Fallon from New York who says she’s single because she’s picky and is in the lingerie fashion industry. Coo-Coo Bird don’t have a chance against ‘er.
Man Contestant No. 2 is Mason, who describes himself as “legendary and humble,” quickly pointing out that that was a bit of a joke. Get it? LOL.
He’s a guitar bro. She bites hook, line and sinker — until she finds out he’s a wee lad of 21 years.
Meanwhile, Chris and Fallon lube one another’s asses up with Vaseline for their papier-mâché date. Here’s take a look:
“We were digging in each other’s butts. That was our first date,” says Fallon, who — as she and Chris maintain — does have a great ass.
Anyway, Louie, the hanger-on from the last episode, starts macking on Fallon, who, again, has a great ass, and is totally his type. This doesn’t go over well with Kerri OR Katie. He tries to get her to take a joint-shower, but she is not amenable to these advances. Then, he’s hitting on her in front of Kerri. He’s such a mope. He’s so heading home. Mason stepping to Louie gets Kerri all wanting kisses and whatnot, too.
Results: Chris keeps Fallon, because of course he did. Kerri keeps Mason, because of course she did.