Steven, 35, is a freelance writer in Los Angeles. He has an Australian accent because he’s from Australia. He’s “loved a lot of women” but none of it “has worked out.” He has a “crusty shell” over his heard and hasn’t been publicly nude very often.
Taryn is a hair stylist of redacted age from San Ramon, Cal. She’s outgoing and disagrees with the angle that she’s “high-maintenance.” She doesn’t know if she’s “comfortable being naked” publicly yet.
“I’m going to go on three dates,” says Steven, who is central casting for Aussienerdbro. “You know what that means? Six boobs! It’ll be fun!”
It’s Taryn’s first time out of the country. She doesn’t seem to be feelin’ Steven one single bit as he reminds her more of a duck than the athletic type to which she’s regularly attracted (to no avail, mind you, as she’s ended up on a nude-dating show on VH1).
Within 9 1/2 minutes, they already have clothes on, further fueling a potential class-action suit against those who named this program in the first place. He’s friendzoned instantly. But no worries: Four more boobs to go!
Onto the second dates! Ashley, from Clemson SC, admits she can be difficult at times. They’re going nude ATV riding.
Ashley’s got some spunk to ‘er. She also likes manly men and that Steven most certainly isn’t, per Ashley, who cites his feminine touch.
Dar, from Portland Ore., is reminiscent of Devendra Banhart.
He brought a camera to take n00dz. Like this one:
She’s got self-esteem issues, tbqh, at least how she’s edited on this particular naked-dating show. Dar’s building her up, though. Love connection?!
Anyway, Steven drops a #YOLO as the foursome boozefest commences. It also seems as if Ashley, Taryn and Dar drop a Steven, who calls it an early night because ain’t nothing working out for him at this point. 🙁
Tayrn admits she’s been “guilty of having sex on the first date before.” She and Dar go off behind closed doors before the commercial break, intimating that she is guilty of said offense (but on a second date) yet again.
“Last night it got a little crazy,” she admits the next morning, just before stripping for “hot” Andrew from Los Angeles.
He’s ready to “be really there” for a future girlfriend. They go naked salsa dancing for their date. She has angel-wing tats on her upper back.
Steven’s third date is Marissa, also from Los Angeles. She plays “video games and make(s) sure there’s no bugs.” Then she starts swatting at bugs. LOL. Get it?
She’s also “a cosplayer.” Their date involves playing badminton.
She’s “sassy,” he says before he’s buried under the sand in the form of a dong. She says she treats men like candy; if, after a first taste, she doesn’t like it, she spits it out. Steven doesn’t like this.
Anyway, all six are together now.
Dar doesn’t much like Andrew is getting all of Taryn’s attention. Taryn says words like “hella,” though, and sneaks off away from Dar, who don’t like playing for second place. He’s playing coy, though, saying he’s happy for her if she’s having fun with Andrew.
So basically, the only drama related to this show whatsoever is if the blonde hair stylist from Cali is gonna pick a LA bro or a Portland plant-talker. Yawn. Fast forward:
Steven considers picking no one as Taryn’s a friend, Ashley’s a “beast I can’t tame” and Marissa doesn’t treat her men well. But then he still wants a second date with Marissa, who “accepts” the invitation. Yay.
As for Taryn, she went Andrew > Dar. Because whatever.