Here Are The Emails In Which A Guy From Baltimore Encourages Me To Get Hit By Another Car (UPDATED)

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Fresh off of the heels of the fuckface from dirt hovel Cleveland who responded to my Twitter treatment of Ben Roethlisberger with getting-hit-by-a-car comments comes Matt Hayes (mattyhayes@gmail.com).

You see, Matty took exception to comments about shitstain-of-a-city Baltimore in my sliver of the A.J. Daulerio roast on Deadspin the other day. But Matty has problems with reading comprehension which rendered him unable to see the context for those comments and emailed asking me to explain it. Here’s a look at what Matty had to say:

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Aw, so sweet. On the first one, he’s right, I could stand to lose a couple pounds. Need to get over that whole broken-vertebrae fear of situps, I guess. And on the second one, well, he’d be right if but not for 3.9 million hits since Jan. 2010.

Good luck not getting syphilis today, Matty.

UPDATE: Looks like Matty is a closet xenophobe, too! An unpublished comment from a Deadspin post about a young Jeremy Lin wearing headbands:

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