It’s that time of the year again. That’s right, when the good folks over at the Philadelphia City Commissioners’ office share with me — and, in turn, with you — the write-in votes from the most recent election in Philly.
Write-in voters brought their A-game this general-election time around, what with the old standard regulars (Gritty, Harambe, Deez Nuts) with new arrivals like Zohran Mamdani, Cthulhu, Six-Seven, Go Birds Dickhead, VJ Edgecombe and more.
With no further ado, highlights from the list (top vote getter listed atop each grouping):
DISTRICT ATTORNEY (432 total):
16: Larry Krasner
8: Gritty
4: Jalen Hurts
3: Tyrese Maxey
2: Toby Da Dog, Zohran Mamdani
1: Atticus Finch, Brains and Backbone, Brandon Graham, Cardi B, Lebron James, Lionel Andres Messi Cuccitini, Baba Booey, The Prophet Mohammad,Kyle Schwarber, Deez Nuts, Dozen Donuts, Elmo, Spongebob, Thug-Larry Criminal-Krasner, Frank Reynolds, Go Birds, Harvey Dent, Mr. Krabs, Mumia Abu Jamal, Jason Kelce, Ozzy, Pierre Robert, Quinta Brunson, Seth Williams, John Kruk, VJ Edgecombe, Zohran Mamdani, This is Dumb, Big Dom
CITY CONTROLLER (258 total):
9: Christy Brady
7: Zohran Mamdani
2: Tyrese Maxey
1: Bob Dylan, Brett Mandel, My Cat Squish, Ari is a Pothead, Charlie Day, Pope Leo XIV, Respect the Poor, Ruben Gallego, Frank Rizzo, Fuck Off, Godzilla, Gritty, Moo Moo, Kanye West, Karl Marx, Al Schmidt, Tom Married Man McDonald, The Count, Kenneth Gainwell, Vladimir Lenin
SUPERIOR COURT (268 total):
22: Alice Dubow
3: Cody Rhodes
2: Bad Bunny
1: Charlie Kirk was a Force…,Daffy Duck, Bob Dylan, Restore Kingdom Jayavarman VII, Bryce Harper, Fuck. Off, Gay and Chinese, Mumia Abu Jamal, MyLoanCareooSixtTreeFourSixs, Optimus Prime, Jalen Hurts, Save America, Big Al, Gritty
COMMONWEALTH COURT (319 total):
122: Joshua Prince
1: Batman, Bob Dylan, Restore Kingdom Jayaman VII, But Not No Other Group, Me, Cat Stevie, Free Palestine, Gritty, Me Again, Meek Mill, Megatron, Miss Rachel, John Cena, Kanye West
COMMON PLEAS COURT (4,023 total):
60: Taniesha Henry
31: Donald J. Trump
14: Gritty
12: Mickey Mouse
10: Charlie Kirk
8: Jalen Hurts
7: No, Bryce Harper
5: Bugs Bunny
4: Zohran Mamdani, Judge Judy, Elmo
3: Santa, Scott DiClaudio, Not Him/Her, Phanatic, Goofy, JD Vance, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Frank Rizzo, Battista
2: Simba aka Crack, Vermin Supreme, Wile E. Coyote, Saquon Barkley, You, Mumia Abu Jamal, Rudy Guiliani, Minnie Mouse, Keisha Hudson, Joe Biden, Joel Embiid, Iron Man, John Pork, Erika Kirk, Donald P. Rich, Donald Trump Jr., Bilbo, Bradley Moss, Big Dom Disandro
1: Tyler Sheridan, Triple H, Understand Coercive Control, Skinny Joey Merlino, Sneezy, Satan Jones, Sonic the Hedgehog, Spiderman, Trained in IPV, Starscream, Tulsi Gabbard, Scrooge McDuck, Santa Claus, Von Hayes, Weird Al Yankovic, Where’s the School Budget?, Steve Carlton, Stevie Wonder, Woody Woodpecker, Scarecrow, Tinkerbell, Super Girl, Support People Like Zohran, Tucker Carlson, Tyrese Maxey, VJ Edgecombe, Taylor Swift, Vinny Bombots, The Dems Suck, Theo Von, Third Party, War, Wet, Yosemite Sam, Wolfman, Wonder Woman, Quinta Brunson, Rocky Squirrel, Popeye d’Sailorman, Nick Fuentes, Poop, Nick Sirianni, No Judges, No Magic Seats, Pope Leo, No One In Particular, Porky Pig, My Neighbor, Monkey Dude, Not a Commie, Not Mr. Russso Spoil, O Papademetriou, Obama, Mother Nature, Oprah Winfrey, Optimus Prime, Mothra, Salvadore Allende, Pope Francis, Ozzy Osbourne, P Diddy, Pam Bondi, Rand Spear, Mouse, Release the Epstein Files, RIP Charlie Kirk, Road Runner, Mr. Magoo, Pee Pee Poo Poo, Penis, Pestilence, Pete Hegseth, Ron Paul, Peter Pan, Mr. Ruth the History Teacher, Pink Panther, Pol Pot, Penelope Cat, Penguin, Karl Marx, Michael Jerrick, King Kong, Marilyn Manson, Megatron, Krasner, Krasner Out of Philly, Lauren Rinaldi, Luigi Mangione, MAGA, MAGA Forever, Magic Johnson, Melania Trump, Mikael Uhre, Marge Simpson, Kanye, Kai Wagner, Mike Hunt, Mike Jerrick, Hobo, Harambe, Honey Tree Evil Eye, Howard Stern, Howie Roseman, Hugh Jazz, Hulk Hogan, Hunter Biden, I Don’t Know These People, I Hate Poll Workers, JT Realmuto, I.P. Freely, Godzilla, Grumpy, Judge Dredd, Hitler, Jimmy Dore, Joe Rogan, Jason Kelce, Jason Voorhees, John Wayne, Joker, Jhoan Duran, Jihaad Campbell, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Go Birds, Justin Bieber, Eddie Vedder, Cunt Lips, Cosby, Fart, Daisy Duck, Dallas Goedert, Fittest Flat Earther, Eric Trump, Famine, Cosmo Kramer, Enforce the Law, Dave on Spruce, Fat Dog Hackney, Crazy Joe Davola, Dopey, Duplicitous Seditious And, Eat My Dick, Death, Couch, Deez Nutz, Cooper Dejean, Frank Rizzo Sr., Fair Elections, Freddy Mitchell, Foghorn Leghorn, Gaza, Francis Grimes, Christiano Ronaldo Dos Santos, Cthulhu, Free Palestine, Fuck Off, Devonta Smith, Fred Flinstone, Dex from 52nd Street, Frederic McQuiggan, Dick Cheney, Free Mumia, Dick Hard, Fuck, Dickhead, Fuck You, DiClaudio, Gandalf, Diddy, Ghost Rider, Bucky Dent, Big Dog, Aaron Nola, A Bag of Nails, Ant Man, A Person Trained in DV, Chase Utley, Any SEPTA Driver, AJ Brown, Aquaman, Bob Dylan, Baba Booey, Bullwinkle Moose, Barney Rubble, Barney, Barron Trump, Bashful, Candace Owens, Bat Girl, Capt. Kangaroo, Batista, Cat Woman, Charlie Brown, Chris Gocong
MUNICIPAL COURT (1,578 votes):
25: Shawn Page
13: Donald J. Trump
11: Gritty
8: Henry Lewandowski, Jesus Christ, Charlie Kirk
7: Me
6: Zohran Mamdani
4: Philly, Cooper Dejean
3: Saquon Barkley, Jalen Hurts
2: Spiderman, Santa, Thor, No Vote, Open Primaries, Batman, Bernie Sanders, Frank Rizzo Jr., Bilbo
1: The Dems Suck, Malia Obama, Scott Pressler, Kyle Schwarber, Tupac, Marshall Mathers, Storm, Vermin Supreme, Poison Ivy, Ranger Suarez, Melania Trump, Michael Coard, Joshua Scott Cohen, Support People Like Zohran, Sweet Thing, Michelle Obama, Keisha Hudson, Mike Tyson, Minnie Mouse, More Jobs, Lauren Rinaldi, Ruth Bader-Ginsburg, Scarlet Witch, Shemp, Steve Keeley, Zack Baun, Swoop, Tanner McKee, The Flying Nun, Old Guy, Optimus Prime, Ultra Man, Peaces, Vlad the Impaler, Pete the Rabbit, I Don’t Want To Vote For Him, Hill School Green St., Joe Mama, John Pork, Donald Duck, Bart Simpson, Free Mumia, Ginger Bread Griffin, Bella Hadid, Jamie Dimon, Joel Embiid, John F. Kennedy, Doom Doctor, Elmo, Bob Dylan, Hulk, Jalen Carter, Jason Kelce, Captain America, AJ Brown, Dom Disandro, Alex Holley, Cheri Honkala, Dylan Mulvaney, Eric Adams, Flat Earth Dave, Freddy Krueger, Colonel Sanders, Crazy, Cthulhu, Handy Manny, Hello Kitty, Daffy Duck, Hugh Jazz, I Don’t Want To Vote For Her, Italian Guy on South Street, Danny Devito, Darth Vader, JD Vance, Joe Rogan, Deez Nutz
JUDGE OF ELECTION (5,238 votes; listed with Ward/Division after name):
Marnie Hall (01-04)
Homer Simpson (01-06)
Joel Embiid (01-09)
Vermin Supreme (01-18)
Sausages (02-11)
AOC (02-12)
Save Philly (02-19)
Marjorie Taylor Greene (02-21)
Rob McElhenney, Bernie Sanders (02-26)
Pauley Shore (05-05)
Christopher Jones 129 votes (05-10)
Gritty (05-13)
Dom Disandro (05-15)
Gritty (05-18)
Bart Simpson (05-23)
Bryce Harper (05-25)
Vincent E. Fumo II (05-28)
Deez Nutz (8-06)
Bryce Harper (08-14)
Bryce Harper (08-18)
Brian Patrick Hickey (08-23) THANKS!!!!!!
Zohran Mamdani (08-25)
Joel Embiid (08-29)
Jalen Hurts (08-32)
Devonta Smith (09-11)
Frank Zappa (09-14)
Dick Cheney (09-16)
Gritty (14-10)
HughE Dillon (15-06)
Gritty (15-07)
Zohran Mamdani (15-08)
Elmo (15-10)
Zohran Mamdani, Paula P. Poopypants (15-14)
Michael Coard (17-05)
Cthulhu (17-20)
Jalen Hurts (18-10)
Jalen Hurts (18-15)
Zohran Mamdani (18-18)
Gritty (20-05)
Zohran Mamdani (21-09)
Smelliott Peeyewhan (21-12)
Kermit the Frog, Jason Kelce (21-13)
Bradley Cooper, Trump Will Die, John Pork (21-15)
Zohran Mamdani (21-20)
Paul George, Ms. Anyone But the Republicans (21-29)
Charlie Kirk (21-34)
My Dog Maggie (21-37)
Howie Roseman (21-38)
Hugo the Dog (21-42)
Taylor Swift (22-05)
Go Birds Dickhead (22-07)
Phillie Phanatic (22-16)
Brandon Graham (22-29)
Al Bundy (23-10)
Rudy Giuliani (23-23)
Soxx (25-03)
Gritty (25-04)
Kyle Schwarber (25-11)
Brock Lesnar (26-07)
Deez Nuts, Gritty (26-10)
Charlie Kirk (26-12)
Paige Wolfe (27-02)
Jalen Hurts (27-06)
VJ Edgecombe (27-07)
Taquito, Kyle Schwarber (27-09)
Your Mother (27-16)
Not A Commie (30-05)
Steve Jeltz, Jennifer Hope (30-15)
Jalen Hurts (31-04)
Lil Uzi Vert (31-07)
Jalen Hurts (31-08)
Gritty (31-10)
Cheri Honkala (33-18)
Deez Nutz (34-22)
Malcolm X (34-28)
No Traitors (35-32)
Zohran Mamdani (36-02)
Charlie Kirk (36-10)
Tyrese Maxey (36-23)
Free Palestine (36-29)
Job Itzkowitz (36-36)
Job Itzkowitz (36-37)
Harambe (36-38)
Jalen Hurts (38-15)
John Hawkins (38-18)
Jared Cram (39-02)
Tyrese Maxey (39-08)
Spongebob, Batman, Scooby Doo (39-25)
Ryan Godfrey (39-26)
Zohran Mamdani (39-30)
Jalen Hurts (39-43)
Scott Diclaudio 2 votes (41-04)
Fuck Israel (45-08)
Fuck Off (46-02)
VJ Edgecombe (46-07)
Ryan Godfrey (46-10)
Jimmy Rollins (46-18)
Miss Piggy (46-19)
Gritty (46-22)
Jalen Carter (48-22)
Dolly Parton two votes (51-01)
Will Smith (51-05)
Hugh G. Recshun (51-18)
Gritty (53-22)
Six-Seven (55-26)
Crazy (56-14)
Jalen Hurts (56-40)
Deez Nuts (57-06)
The Dog Catcher, Jimmy Kimmel (57-09)
Philly Captain (57-16)
Gritty (60-02)
Saquon Barkley (63-03)
Harambe (63-08)
Bryce Harper (63-10)
Bill Cosby (64-16)
Haywood Jablome (65-04)
Charlie Kirk 4 votes (66-04)
Nick Sirianni (66-05)
Gritty (66-14)
INSPECTOR OF ELECTION (3,710 votes; listed with Ward/Division after name):
Tyrese Maxey (01-09)
Weird Al (01-16)
Gritty, Myself (02-09)
GG Allin, Bernie Sanders (02-12)
Gritty 2 votes (02-19)
Luigi Mangione (02-26)
Gritty, Zohran Mamdani, Kamala Harris (05-06)
Gritty (05-07)
Tori Amos (05-09)
The Phanatic (05-13)
Gritty (05-18)
Borat Sagadev (05-20)
Kyle Schwarber (05-25)
Phillie Elmo, Mr. Snuffles (05-35)
Kyle Schwarber (08-03)
Deez Nutz (08-06)
Curtis Sliwa (08-27)
Tyrese Maxey (08-29)
Joel Embiid (08-32)
Judge Reinhold (09-02)
Cinnamon Bun (09-08)
Gritty, Zohran Mamdani (09-10)
Jalen Hurts (09-11)
Meek Mill (09-16)
Flavor Flav (12-05)
The Phanatic (14-01)
Gritty (15-07)
Elmo, Homer J. Simpson (15-11)
Seymour Butts (15-14)
Bilbo Baggins (15-18)
Cthulhu (17-20)
Gritty (18-06)
Denis Devine (18-07)
Thomas Hoban, No Trump Scums (18-16)
Zohran Mamdani, Lauren Rinaldi (18-18)
Gritty (20-05)
Jerry Garcia (21-07)
Handpoo Waveus (21-12)
Kylie Kelce, Miss Piggy (21-13)
Zohran Mamdani, Judge Judy (21-20)
Remy the Dog (21-42)
Go Birds Dickhead (22-07)
Gritty (22-16)
Jeffrey Epstein (22-23)
Charlie Kirk, I Want More Calirty Who Thatis (24-05)
Beyonce Knowles (24-06)
Soxx (25-03)
Gritty (25-04)
Nydia Han (25-05)
Satan (25-21)
Charlie Kirk, Not the Republican (26-12)
Kyle Schwarber, Bernie Sanders (26-18)
Pierre Robert (26-22)
Poop, Dick Cheney, Jalen Hurts (27-06)
VJ Edgecombe (27-07)
Zohran Mamdani (27-23)
Joel Embiid (31-03)
Nick Fuentes (31-04)
Jerry Seinfeld, Anyone Not Allied or Affiliated with MAGA, Charles Barkley, Lovebug Peters, Gritty, Jalen Hurts, Jeffrey Epstein (31-08)
Zohran Mamdani (32-08)
Gaza (32-18)
Your Mom (34-23)
Mike Jerrick (34-25)
Huey P. Newton (34-28)
Big Bird (35-20)
Non-Traitors (35-32)
Gritty (36-06)
Charlie Kirk (36-10)
Gritty (36-16)
Free Palestine (36-29)
Jalen Hurts (36-35)
Harambe (36-38)
Jalen Hurts (38-15)
Annie Heckenberger (39-10)
Gritty 2 votes, Yo Mama (39-17)
Scrappy Doo (39-31)
Me Myself and I (39-37)
Gritty 2 votes (39-38)
Pierre Robert RIP (39-45)
Jessica Goth (45-01)
Taylor Swift (45-06)
Fuck Israel (45-08)
Fuck Off (46-02)
Harrison Bader (46-07)
Gritty (46-22)
Orange Cassidy (48-17)
Thief A La Mode (48-20)
Kevin Hart (51-05)
Zohran Mamdani (51-06)
Michael Coard (52-06)
Anyone Else. Anyone. (52-16)
Phillie Phanatic (53-22)
Six-Seven (55-26)
Saquon Barkley (56-40)
Deez Nutz (57-06)
Jalen Hurts (57-11)
Kenneth Gainwell (57-17)
Obama (58-19)
Taylor Swift (58-21)
Taijuan Walker (59-14)
Michael Nutter (60-23)
Kyle Schwarber, Inspecter Gadget (66-38)