Weekend Reading Roundup (Stack of Leftover Magazines Edition)

And when there’s a stack of leftover magazines that somehow evaded Roundup notice, the only logical thing is to let one sentence do the talking for each notable story. So that’s’a’what’i’m’a’do.
— An English DJ thought it’d be a great idea to play Van Halen’s Jump, right around the time a lady jumped from a 30-foot bridge. (Originally seen in Entertainment Weekly.)
— I always associated Ms. Lohan with hot shoobie trash, but hanging with the Jersey Shore kidz cemented it. (EW)
— There’s a fancy new sailboat with a wing instead of a sail. So, I guess it’s a wingboat. (Popular Science)
— So, scientists will actually soon be able to read your mind. F’real. (PopSci)
— Mark McGwire: Still ducking the need to really admit his crimes and motives. Bob Costas: Offers the perfect setting. (SI)
— In an issue with those creepy Tiger Woods pix that helped Annie Leibovitz pay the taxman back, Vanity Fair offers an insightful look into the mind, and words, of an American sniper. (VF)
— I’d posit that Mila Kunis is America’s pre-eminent piece-of-ass. But that’s just me. And Esquire.
— And that JR is the world’s pre-eminent guerilla photographer. (Esquire)
— And that Alex Lemon is the best writer for a 21-year-old stroke victim. (Esquire)
— In closing, all that stuff I said about Mila Kunis a couple sentences back? Yeah, well, I forgot I’d seen Faith Hill’s choice of jeans in the DirecTV monthly magazine. Translation: I take it back. It’s a tie …