Roxy shoots a selfie in the dentist’s chair.
Tonight’s episode is called “funemployed.” It starts with a montage that includes a clip of Brendan (aka Balding Realtor) decrying the fact that Morgan (aka Boob Louber, pictured below) hasn’t posted on her blog lately as a sin against humanity because “you touch people with your work.” This is her work, for edification’s sake.
It all feels too weighty until Dorothy, in a bikini, tells BL, in a bikini, that the photo she posted on Instagram 17 hours ago “got 446 likes.” OMG. How amazing. They then take another photo where BL’s B’s are practically spilling out of said bikini, yet she takes note of how large her nose looks.
Furthering the depth of conversation, Dorothy points out that people seem to check out their selfies more often around lunchtime. Whoa.
Dorothy then discusses how she hated shopping when her mother took her as a youth, but she has evolved — nay, blossomed — into a woman who loves shopping. And now, her parents are all judgy about it.
“You created the monster, remember, I didn’t like it,” maintains Dorothy, who concedes she may soon go work for some real-estate guy named Mauricio, who apparently has made multiple plays to get the “cultural ambassador to Beverly Hills” into his agency. He also notes that they’re planning on starting a magazine.
BL does not like this update, because she will be left alone, with all this money and time on her hands. And who will go shopping with her now?
Shattering any suggestion that this is a show-driven gimmick, Mauricio teams Dorothy up with BR to work on a joint project.
Anyway, Roxy is at the dentist. Her aunt is her dentist. This is weird. I’ve never heard of intrafamily dentistry. But then again, I’m not from Beverly Hills so who the hell knows what’s going on.
In a notable twist, Roxy and Morgan are now shopping together for chandeliers. Roxy’s red shirt — in the interview segment requisite of deepening our understanding of This Important Moment — might as well be buttoned down to her knees. It also might as well get returned to wardrobe as, while shopping, she’s actually wearing a grey T-shirt.
And then, there is the unforgettable Liberace moment, in which an aspiring interior designer — Roxy — neither knows who Liberace is nor how to spell it.
AWK WARD. Oh, actually, no it isn’t. When have we ever thought that E! has a Vapidity and Reality Clearance Screen Test for its programming. You can be an interior designer without knowing anything about interior designing, no? And, whatever, once BL pulls up a Google entry on Liberace for Roxy, Roxy’s all, like, that’s my soul sister, that Liberace guy.
Still trying to fill the vacuum created when her bestie went and got a job, BL is now at a pet gourmet-restobar (no, seriously) of some sort with Jonny. The employee asks whether BL’s dog has ever eaten pheasant. Because rich kids.
Roxy maintains that her dog has eaten one penis a night her entire life. But then she sees a $2,900 doggie canopy bed and OMG isn’t it the cutest it’s just like my bed and wow I gotta get it but I’ll think about it over night before charging it. This is an evolutionary step towards maturity, as presented.
In a discussion about future professionalism, Morgan’s mom is tapped in. She encourages Booblouber to make a career out of her exceptional blogging. This is her only skill set, BL concedes. So she will embark on a mission toward blogging immortality. This is proof just how in touch these folks are with reality.
Also, there’s a problem with BL’s dog’s vagina. Prayers and good vibes sent to BL’s dog’s vagina. 🙁
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