Zeenia Walton vs. Lamar “D.L.” Walton

Snapshot 2010-09-29 22-00-50 Snapshot 2010-09-29 22-01-40 Well isn’t this rich; seems as if Zeenia Walton wants a divorce from Lamar Walton all because he, and I quote, “took his career as a porn director too far.” Now what the hell does that even mean? HOW CAN YOU TAKE YOUR CAREER AS A PORN DIRECTOR TOO FAR???

Before we get to that, it bears mentioning that Zeenia Walton looks like the type of dame that some probably wouldn’t mind seeing in some directed porn. But hell, if you knew her husband was directing it, and that she thought he was taking his trade too seriously, I think that’d ruin any RedTube joy, right?

So anyway, back to the question at hand: It seems as if Zeenia doesn’t think Lamar should be slapping his actresses on their porny asses a la a football teammate trying to motivate. “She wants me to choose between my job and her,” he says. “Times got tough. The economy got rough. Sex sells.”

He breaks it on down: women-with-women, threesomes. “We even on several occasions had threesomes ourselves. That’s the type of person that I was,” says Lamar. “Things started off cool. I guess she didn’t look at all the pros and cons of starting this kind of business.”

He says on-set flirting is part of the warm-up activities. Like stretching, kinda. “Making sure everybody’s spirits is right for the scene.”

I’m just going to say it right now: Zeenia ain’t done said a word and I’m totally in Lamar’s corner. That could change, of course. Because she look fly. And when she do start talking, she says Lamar got jealous when she started talking to “the male talent.” Nekkid men.

I suspect Zeenia isn’t her birth name. I also suspect Lamar really lucked into this gal so he should’ve been doing everything he could to keep her happy. Which is to say I’m on Team Zeenia now.

“I helped him get into the business, but I didn’t think he would become the business,” she said. On his birthday, when she was eight months pregnant, she cooked collards, cornbread and fried chicken. “He came home. He ate and then left.”

Yo, that cold.

Even if Judge Lynn is right that cheaters don’t generally make pitstops at home mid-dalliance.

Even if Zeenia said no to sex one time and when he looked at her phone when she was in the shower, he found some texts like, “Baby, good seeing you last night.” And she pretty much cops to the old cheating-because-he-was-cheating angle. “I wasn’t being fed at home,” he explains.

She then complains that when they met, he had six-figures in the bank and now they’re broke.

Hot damn.

This actually has the makings of some Redtube shit now. Call it “Hot chick destroys $850 of her porn-director husband’s clothes and then bangs the pizza boy who comes to the door asking if somebody ordered some ‘extra sausage.'”

She’s got an answer for everything, which is fine, because she got one of those sexy authoritarian voices that makes me think the standard “we were acting because Divorce Court producers told us to” emails are already forming. After all, times got tough and sex sells.

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