Oh, white people. When will you grow up?
Take the Lanes, Michael and Misty.
Michael says his wife is a worthless whore who screws everybody and their brothers (and cousins). She’s also a bad mother, he says. Misty, who’s 22 with 2 children, says she’s neither a worthless whore nor a bad mother. “She’s out drinking, sleeping around, she doesn’t come home,” Michael adds. “When I see someone, I’m hearing, ‘Oh, your wife sucked this person, she’s sleeping with this person. It isn’t even made up. She was a stripper. She didn’t have time for her kids. She goes out drunk. Comes to my house at 3 in the morning.”
Which puts it all into the proper context: He just didn’t like being sloppy twentieths!!!
“I am a good mother,” Misty says. “My kids come first in my life.”
Then, she explains how she was kidding when she told him she’d cheated, which prompted him to admit to cheating f’real. Gets better: He urged her to eat a cherry pie. Then, after she took a couple bites, he told her that the woman he’d cheated with baked it. Cool drink of water, what a sweet surprise!
Michael counters with how some dude called him and said he was banging his wife. Or how she came over to his house with hickeys all over her neck. “God, you’re a liarrr,” Misty retorts. “He’s extremely verbally abusive.”
In fact, she says the 2-year-old called her a whore. Boss!
Shortly thereafter, Judge Toler put Michael in the corner which pretty much renders that Swayze line null and void. RIP, Patrick. And RIP, the Lanes’ dignity. At least what was left of it after Misty got assigned to the afternoon pole.