Misty Lane vs Michael Lane

Cherry Pie

Cherry Pie

Capt. Ahole

Capt. Ahole

Oh, white people. When will you grow up?
Take the Lanes, Michael and Misty.
Michael says his wife is a worthless whore who screws everybody and their brothers (and cousins). She’s also a bad mother, he says. Misty, who’s 22 with 2 children, says she’s neither a worthless whore nor a bad mother. “She’s out drinking, sleeping around, she doesn’t come home,” Michael adds. “When I see someone, I’m hearing, ‘Oh, your wife sucked this person, she’s sleeping with this person. It isn’t even made up. She was a stripper. She didn’t have time for her kids. She goes out drunk. Comes to my house at 3 in the morning.”
Which puts it all into the proper context: He just didn’t like being sloppy twentieths!!!
“I am a good mother,” Misty says. “My kids come first in my life.”
Then, she explains how she was kidding when she told him she’d cheated, which prompted him to admit to cheating f’real. Gets better: He urged her to eat a cherry pie. Then, after she took a couple bites, he told her that the woman he’d cheated with baked it. Cool drink of water, what a sweet surprise!
Michael counters with how some dude called him and said he was banging his wife. Or how she came over to his house with hickeys all over her neck. “God, you’re a liarrr,” Misty retorts. “He’s extremely verbally abusive.”
In fact, she says the 2-year-old called her a whore. Boss!
Shortly thereafter, Judge Toler put Michael in the corner which pretty much renders that Swayze line null and void. RIP, Patrick. And RIP, the Lanes’ dignity. At least what was left of it after Misty got assigned to the afternoon pole.

4 comments for “Misty Lane vs Michael Lane

  1. mike
    April 8, 2012 at 20:43

    I am proud I am white, i sure wouldn’t want to be any other race. As far as your entire little column you wrote here at least know what your talking about. It wasn’t about how many guys hit it before me, and I was at the beginning so you know. The entire point of going on here was dogging this trick for being a worthless mom, and you should of seen it when the cameras quit taping. I guarantee you didn’t make as much for posting this bullshit as I did for getting flew out to Hollywood and taping it. One last thing I have always raised my boys, still do to this day sense this slut left them and no courts or anyone gives a fuck. My youngest boy doesn’t even really know anything about his mom, so if your going to pick someone to diss on at least know something about the people. Maybe if I wasn’t WHITE people would care what went on with my children!!!!

  2. April 9, 2012 at 07:18

    Thanks for writing, Michael.

    One thing: it’s “getting flown” not “getting flew.” But you’re right, I made $0 for spending 20 minutes of my life watching you dog that trick. Congrats. You won!1!

  3. mike
    April 9, 2012 at 11:38

    Dam I feel a lot better knowing that now! Your pathetic though for real, I only found this cause a friend posted it. What the hell would some guy be watching divorce court for, especially if you aren’t getting paid. It’s all good though I’m glad my life turned out how it did, and it has nothing to do with making up shit about other people. One last thing, you should really know something about people before you write about them. She has another child that wasn’t brought up, because she didn’t want that child’s father getting involved in anything. So some of these cases you see on tv children are really getting a bad deal out of it, so think about them before you start talking shit trying to make a dollar.

  4. April 13, 2012 at 07:47

    If I’m pathetic, what would you call a person who goes on Divorce Court, thus forcing a situation in which “children are getting a bad deal out of it”?

    I’ll give you some time on that one, Mike.

    Not sure the word exists yet.

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