Damn Obama says he’s having an hour press conference which goes till 12:25, thus leaving me with only the scraps of this seemingly awesome Divorce Court to share. I’ll try my best, though. If only because America rules, and Henry Black reminds me of a washed-up pimp edited out of Friday.
So, Lisa Todd’s suing her husband Henry for $5K for a mink coat that she says he pawned. The final straw can be summarized in paperwork that nobody else but the judge can see. It was a record of his pawning the jacket her mama gave her without her knowing it.
“She liked to watch Lifetime and Divorce Court. I can’t get the remote,” Henry says by way of explaining why he pawned it for $100. “But, you honor, you know what? I got a surprise for Lisa. One moment…
“TA-DA! And I’m not gonna give it back!”
Oooh, you damn right he pulls the mink coat out a cardboard box!!!
Lisa be crying.
Judge be saying she just know he didn’t get it back from the pawn shop to show, but not return it. It’s because he wants her back! He wants her home with him! Judge saying they need to stay together. Life’s too short. They too old. Give her the coat right now!
So, Henry puts the coat on his wife. They hug. The crowd “ahhs.” They walk out the courtroom together, Henry saying she better give him some money back.
“I always loved you anyway. I hope you happy you got your coat back. I’m still gonna sign those papers,” Henry said.
“You can sign, but I ain’t gonna let nobody else have ya. Got too much history with you! Man down. Man down. Holla!” retorted Lisa.
“Ok, I wanna be with you too. Gimme a kiss. Let’s go home,” concluded Henry.
And off they went home together.