Linda Oppelt vs. David Oppelt

Snapshot 2010-09-20 18-09-32 Snapshot 2010-09-20 18-08-50
David Oppelt brought his mammy with him to Divorce Court. Not a good start. He did apologize for stealing $40 to take his ex-girlfriend out — before they were married. Nope, Stringbean Tool David isn’t a charming character. I’m having a hard time with the mammy being in the mix within 30 seconds of the show. Generally, witnesses wait a couple minutes to get into the action. Fucking A, why can’t this David guy talk for himself?!

I mean, Linda’s a wackjob. I think she draws her eyebrows on. I don’t think she’s ever smiled. And she’s gritting her teeth a lot. And she left an outgoing message on his voicemail claiming that a herpes outbreak has prevented him from answering your call. This, because he was sending chicks pictures of his manmeat. (When confronted, he just smiles.)

“You people had no business getting married,” says Judge Lynn.

No shit. Mammy should’ve known that after Linda called the cops “because, um, I didn’t say he hit but my daughter did get in between us when we were arguing.” These are two filthy pieces of white trash. Linda looks like a bull on pissed-off pills and no nostril-flare control. And David, well, he’s the kind of guy who brings his mammy to divorce court to do his fighting for him.

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