Where do I start with these two?
Well, how about the fact that if a candle was lit next to the bed on Tuesday nights, Craig could do some banging with his wife.
Or how that wife, Jennifer, spray painted “Pig” on Craig’s car all like he was Damone from Fast Times after he stood Bradley’s little sister up for the abortion appointment.
Or how Jennifer asked Craig what she should get him for his birthday and he responded that he’d like a threesome with her friend Heidi.
Or how she was the breadwinner for her independent artist husband who liked to watch the Family Guy and pretend parking-violation boots were art. It was his “interpretation of Christ. … I think it speaks for itself.” He says he made $48K on his art last year.
Or how she feeds her pooch organic foods.
Truth is, I can’t stand either of these friggin’ stereotypical Yankees fans. By that, I mean douchebags. Full-of-themselves, never-shutting-the-hell-up douchebags.
Thank God they brought Heidi into court, to take the cameras and microphones off of the Pollinas for even a spare moment. Of course, then she got all “Craig’s a pig. … We’re at the restaurant, he’s hitting on a waitress, talking about her behind. … Then, it got a little worse. Started happening to me. Don’t let his charm fool you. One night, all of a sudden someone rubs up on me, telling me how great I look.” He said that she actually did it to him, even though she was up against the sink.
Like Harlequin fan-porn-fiction, these folks. That said, Heidi is pretty hot. And she seems pretty dumb. So I’d assume Craig is still trying, and will succeed in getting, his threesome yet. Whether his car says “PIG” still or not.