Jamaica Burrell vs. Lance Burrell

Snapshot 2010-10-20 17-53-13 Snapshot 2010-10-20 17-55-03 Jamaica Burrell says she got married in booty shorts. Lance Burrell look like a young Apollo. He say he got married after two months and he look like a sucka.

Within two months of marriage, she dropping other dudes number out her purse. Like the one she said was her cousin. Except when Lance called, dude said Jamaica never say she married. And what Jamaica say was, “Sometimes, I forget I’m married.”

She talks like Snoop from The Wire and she party like it a job even though the kids need to get up for school. She’s a grown-up. She can do what she want. And he trying to control her life, is what she said. It’s about being a grown-up is what he said. Like, not passing out drunk at tha mother-in-law’s house. She admits she’s drinking and partying too much. Sure.

Some beak-faced chick named Jumanda is brought in as a character witness. I can’t focus on a fucking word coming out her mouth. Oh, she Jamaica’s sister. She wears a lot of aquamarine. She talks like an ostrich. I’m getting so fucking dizzy even looking at her. Now I know what that chick who went into seizures every time Mary Hart spoke felt like. It ain’t good, either.

And who the fuck names their kid Jumanda or Juwanda, or whatever the fuck it is. I want to take a picture to post here, but I feel as if 80 pounds of Crackyanda might effect other’s negatively as well. It’s at the point where I can’t even focus on accusations that Jamaica took a restraining order out because he grabbed her. It’s at the point where Judge Lynn is dressing him the fuck down. I wish I knew why but, again, that would necessitate seeing Brewbranda again and I’m not taking that risk.

Thank Christ for the commercial break. So some dude came up to Lance and said he knocked her up. Him, being the other guy. Her being Jamaica. Fun fact: Lance and Jamaica both list “unemployed” as their profession. Anyway, back to the kid. Of course there’s a DNA test up in this bitch. Lance believed this dude. DNA test came up Lance, the guy who avoided bonding with his kid Emmanuel.

Ain’t that about a bitch.

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