The way Carmella Gilliam tells it, Karl Myles — a lawyer — was defending her drug-dealing incarcerated fiancee and showed up to court high. He pronounces recollection as “ree collection.” The fiancee has gotten arrested five times to date. There’s some hot ass blonde chick sitting behind Carmella (a 26-year-old mother of two who styles hair in her home for sustenance). The blonde is not involved in this in any way that I can tell.
She’s looking to get $600 back from Karl. But Judy ain’t having it. She’s looking the $1,200 retainer she plunked down after reading “good reviews” of him “on the computer.” Now, Karl must’ve had some professional photography done, cause Karl has a Baby Huey frame and demeanor.
Anyway, Judy’s all “Why would you bring a drug dealer into your home?” She says he was writing books when they met. I’d love to read one of these fucking books.
Here’s the heart of the story: There was no evidence, no witnesses, so her jailbird fiance remained in the clink because Myles “was under the influence of drugs … of something.” She doesn’t know what he was on, but he was two hours late, and slurring. She says she’s never used drugs, either. This is quite a statement.
Karl’s wearing a tie that says “God” written on it. Judy says lawyers show up late all the time. Karl ain’t even gotta talk before the judge is all on Team Frump. She won’t give her any dayum money, neither.
Then, Carmella says he axsed her for weed after the hearing. It’s really hard to get an SAT-level sentence out of her, but whatever, she might’ve got duped by a dopefiend attorney. He starts talking defamation n’shit. And Judy starts talking about hair-follicle drug tests in reference to his countersuit.
Boyfriend/fiance’s still locked up. And Judge Judy’s had enough of this booshit without even hearing Karl talk much! Man, Judge Lynn Toler digs deeper. This case’s dismissed 13 minutes into the mo’fu’in show!!!
At least they have a second case. But it’s a battle about a busted retainer in some school scufflin’. This show bites. I wish I didn’t read the episode description to make up for a dearth of new Divorce Courts and only one new Bridezilla a week.