Here Are Some Noteworthy Write-In Votes During Philadelphia’s May 2022 Primary

It’s that time of the year again when the good people over at City Hall send me spreadsheets of every write-in vote cast in the recent election. For the May 2022 primary, there was an ton of such votes cast. Here are the ones I deemed noteworthy broken down by the race itself.

There’s the tried-and-true sports related votes (most of the Sixers roster got at least a vote with Joel Embiid and Tyrese Maxey leading the way, as well as most of the 2008 World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies) as well as substantial support for Gritty per usual.

Obviously, I didn’t tally the most recent insurrection-fomenting, one-term president* in this list (or his family members), because they’re awful people, as are those who wrote them in.

Of note is the fact that many Twitter folks received support, as did I — garnering one vote for governor (thanks, supporter)!

US Senate (Dem.):

Mickey Mouse (2)

Joel Embiid


Law and Order

Mao Zedong

Chuck Norris

The Most High God

Easter Bunny


US Senate (Rep.):

Liz Cheney (2)

Cicero (2)



All Terrible

They All Suck

LOL None Of The Above

Mickey Mouse

Hunter Stockton Thompson

Bryce Harper


Mr. Rogers

Harry Truman

Gov. Wolf

Allen Iverson


Governor (Dem.):

Gritty (17)

Mickey Mouse (9)

Joel Embiid (6)

Donald Duck (4)

Mumia Abu Jamal (4)

Mindy Isser (3)

Michael Nutter (3)

Batman (3)

No Gas Tax Rebate (2)

Frank Rizzo (2)

Allen Iverson (2)

Ala Stanford (2)

No Marxist (2)

Santa Claus (2)

A bunch for Krasner

Brian Hickey

Daniel Thomas Craig

Deez Nuts


Deez Slippery Nutz

Left Nut

Jello Biafra

Justice for Ellen Rae Greenberg

Not Another White Man

Homer Simpson

Luke Skywalker

Tyrese Maxey

Glenn Rivers

Bruce Wayne

Al Schmidt

Giselle Fetterman

Charlie Manuel

Bradley Maule


Jerry Sandusky

Eddie Vedder

Yasser Arafat

Baldini and the Bastards

Bill Cosby

Stop the Tyranny

Law and Ordr (sic)

Rufus T. Firefly


Donald Duck

Woodrow Woodpecker

Mick Jagger

No Cops


Claude Giroux

Doctor Orpheus

Von Hayes

Charles Barkley

Pee Wee Herman

Solomon Jones

Borat Sagdiyev

Oscar the Grouch

Eat My Ass Shapiro

Kanye West

My Cat Would Be Better

Art Vandelay

Jorts the Cat

Free Palestine

Don’t Be Moderate, Josh

Hugh Ass

Chuck Norris

The Most High God


Eww Josh Shapiro

Harlie Brown and His Friends

Jalen Hurts

Dr. Seuss

The Guy Who Played Huggie Bear


Governor (Rep.):

None of the Above (3)

Joel Embiid (2)

Tom Ridge (2)

Cicero (2)

Mickey Mouse (2)

All Terrible

They All Suck

No Confidence

Jerry Garcia

Bobby Shmurda

Bob Marley


Chester Cheeto



Lt. Governor (Dem.):

Gritty (2)

Mickey Mouse (2)

Frank Rizzo

Dallas Sucks

Al Schmidt

Tyrese Maxey

America Ultra Maga Forever

Law and Order

Anyone Else

Pam Africa

Tipsy Noodle

Susan Sarandon

Dems Suck

Free Palestine

Princess Ellie

Chuck Norris

Furkan Korkmas

The Most High God

Diamond Joe Quimby

No Idiots Need Apply

Soldier Kelly



Lt. Governor (Rep.):

None of the Above (3)

None – All Terrible


No Confidence

No Answer

They All Suck

Anyone Not on the Ballot

Cicero (2)

Al Schmidt (2)

Liz Cheney

Joe Mattress

Bugs Bunny


Huey P. Newton


Danny Green



U.S. Congress (Dem., 2nd):

Gritty (10)

Mickey Mouse (3)

Anyone But Boyle (4)

Anyone Else (3)

Not Boyle (2)

Get Boyle Out

Any Republican

None of the Above


Britney Spears

Jar Jar Binks

Tyrese Maxey

Joel Embiid

Conor Barwin

Dems Suck


A Free Irishman

Free Palestine


Tony Stark

A Block of Wood

OJ Simpson

Asa Khalif

A Monkey

Sponge Bob


Tucker Carlson


U.S. Congress (Rep., 2nd):

James Harden

Jan. 6 Guys in Jail Now


U.S. Congress (Dem., 3rd):

Joel Embiid (3)

Gritty (3)

Mickey Mouse (6)

Inanimate Carbon Rod

Will Smith

Joe “Ursurper Criminal” Biden (Chestnut Hill)

We Need Real Moderates

Law and Order


Mindy Isser

Spongebob Squarepants

Chuck Norris

The Most High God


U.S. Congress (Rep., 3rd):

Cicero (2)

Mickey Mouse (2)


Johnny Depp

Kanye West

Richard Snowden

Vermin Supreme

Capt. Sig John Walker

Franco Faggi


Dick van Dyke

Frank Rizzo


U.S. Congress (Dem., 5th) (36):

Paul McCartney


U.S. Congress (Rep., 5th) (13):

John Dougherty


Committeepersons (Dem.):

Gritty (9)

Latrice Bryant (5)

Hillary Clinton (2)

Jane Roe (2)

Anyone Else (2)

The Most High God (2)

Mark Lamont Hill (2)

Joel Embiid (2)

Rigged E Lection (a tiny division not too far from Northeast Philly Airport)

Someone Honest

Will Not Accept Them

Need New People

Hell No

None of the Above (2)

No Vote (2)


Yes (2)

Tommy “I Don’t Tip” West

Benny the Bull




Oprah Winfrey

Mumia Abu Jamal

No CRT (East Falls)

Law and Order

Ramona Africa

Milo T. Dog II

Bob Will Reign

Boston Scott

Job Itzkowitz

Will Mega

Ben Simmons

Doc Rivers


Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Me (2)

Kevin Greenberg

Frank Rizzo

Dr. Strange


Mickey Mouse




Committeepersons (Rep.):

Me (2)

Reparations (2)

Cicero (2)

John the Baptist (2)

Jesus Christ (2)

Kanye West (2)


Baba Booey

Pluto Mouse

John Gatti


Tucker Carlson

Rudy Giuliani

Andrew Giulani

Ben Franklin

Lou Holtz

No Confidence


State Committee (Dem., 1st):

Gritty (3)

Non Binary People Exist (3)

No (9)

Hell No

Danny Bauder

Jane Slusser

Brendan McPhillips

Ben Waxman (2)

Jon Geeting (5)

Phoebe Phanatic

Julia Terruso

Fred Rogers



Green Lantern

Captain America

Wonder Woman

Mary Poppins


Harriet Tubman

Rosa Parks

Jimmy Rollins

Shane Victorino

Chase Utley

Ryan Howard

Jayson Werth

Pedro Feliz

Charles “Chooch” Ruiz

Cole Hamels

Harry Dicks

Fuck Donald Trump

Donovan McNabb

Oliver Clothesoff

Mike Rotch

(Each word is a separate vote) Only An Informed Public Can Vote With Any Authority

Mickey Mouse



Jane Roe (2)

Support Roe

My Body, Fuck Off

Fuck Supreme Court

Stack the Supreme Court


State Committee (Dem., 2nd):

Pat Harambe (3)


State Committee (Dem., 3rd):

Free Palestine (6)

Kevin Greenberg (6)

Tyrese Maxey

Latrice Bryant

Elon Musk

Kanye West

Pete Davidson

Kim Kardashian

Kourtney Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian

Kris Kardashian

Not a Single Good Person


State Committee (Dem., 4th):

The Most High God (5)


State Committee (Dem., 5th):


Meek Mill

Kyle Rittenhouse

Milton Street

Rush Limbaugh

Kate Smith

Fred Sanford


State Committee (Dem., 7th):

YHWH (7)

Jesus (7)

A Black West Philly Native (3)

Law and Order (2)

No Marxist (2)

Latrice Bryant

Fuckhead Magoo

The Bumpus Dogs from A Christmas Story

A Sega Genesis (2nd Edition)

Joe Biden Impersonator

Mucky Muckmon

Launchpad McQuack



State Committee (Dem., 8th):

Chuck Norris (4)


Steve Jeltz

Mindy Isser


State Committee (Rep., All):

No One (6)

Poop (4)

Baba Booey (3)

Obi-Wan Kenobi

George Floyd Burnt Down Police (near Curran Fromhold Correctional Facility)

Latrice Bryant


Special Election (5th Senate):

Jason Kelce


Anyone Else

Handsome Hank


Special Election (6th Council):

Me (4)

Mickey Mouse (2)

Elmer Fudd


Jason Kelce

Barney the Dinosaur

Anyone Else (3)

Anyone But Him

Any Republican

Anyone Other Than Driscoll

Jesus Christ

No Dem

Ben Dover

No One

Frank Rizzo

Fred Flintstone


State Senate (Rep., 2nd):

Joel Embiid


State Senate (Dem., 4th):

Anyone Else (3)

Kamala Laughing Hyena Harris (Chestnut Hill)

Jonathan Josey

Nick Foles

Allen Iverson


State Rep. (Dem., 172th):



State Rep. (Rep., 173rd):

Anyone Killed By Overt Racism


State Rep. (Dem., 174th):



State Rep. (Dem., 175th):

Gritty (3)

Fix the Playground

My Dog

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Joe Mamma

Tobias Harris



State Rep. (Rep., 175th):

Jerry Garcia


State Rep. (Dem., 177th):

Anybody Else (5)

Gritty (2)

Joe Mamma


State Rep. (Dem., 180th):

King George

Joe Stalin

Police Commissioner Outlaw


State Rep. (Dem., 181st):

Mickey Mouse (2)


Philly Phanatic

Anyone Other Than This Criminal


State Rep. (Rep., 182nd):



State Rep. (Rep., 184th):

John Dougherty


State Rep. (Dem., 185th):

Vince Fumo


State Rep. (Dem., 186th):

Gritty (2)

Joel Hans Embiid

Kermit the Frog

Not Him

Literally Anyone Else

Freddie Krueger

Captain Sensible

Tyrese Maxey

Gandalf the Grey

Chuck Norris


State Rep. (Rep., 184th):


Brandon Sucks


State Rep. (Dem., 188th):



State Rep. (Rep., 190th):



State Rep. (Rep., 192nd):

Cicero (2)


State Rep. (Dem., 194th):

Bryce Harper

Law and Order

Mickey Mouse


State Rep. (Dem., 195th):

Anyone Else (2)

Dump Krasner

Mickey Mouse


State Rep. (Dem., 197th):

Bronze Age Pervert


State Rep. (Dem., 200th):

Hillary Crook Lowlife Clinton

The Most High God


State Rep. (Rep., 203rd):

Dick Hurtz


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