It’s that time of the year again when the good people over at City Hall send me spreadsheets of every write-in vote cast in the recent election. For the May 2022 primary, there was an ton of such votes cast. Here are the ones I deemed noteworthy broken down by the race itself.
There’s the tried-and-true sports related votes (most of the Sixers roster got at least a vote with Joel Embiid and Tyrese Maxey leading the way, as well as most of the 2008 World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies) as well as substantial support for Gritty per usual.
Obviously, I didn’t tally the most recent insurrection-fomenting, one-term president* in this list (or his family members), because they’re awful people, as are those who wrote them in.
Of note is the fact that many Twitter folks received support, as did I — garnering one vote for governor (thanks, supporter)!
US Senate (Dem.):
Mickey Mouse (2)
Joel Embiid
Gritty
Law and Order
Mao Zedong
Chuck Norris
The Most High God
Easter Bunny
US Senate (Rep.):
Liz Cheney (2)
Cicero (2)
Gritty
Danzig
All Terrible
They All Suck
LOL None Of The Above
Mickey Mouse
Hunter Stockton Thompson
Bryce Harper
Poop
Mr. Rogers
Harry Truman
Gov. Wolf
Allen Iverson
Governor (Dem.):
Gritty (17)
Mickey Mouse (9)
Joel Embiid (6)
Donald Duck (4)
Mumia Abu Jamal (4)
Mindy Isser (3)
Michael Nutter (3)
Batman (3)
No Gas Tax Rebate (2)
Frank Rizzo (2)
Allen Iverson (2)
Ala Stanford (2)
No Marxist (2)
Santa Claus (2)
A bunch for Krasner
Brian Hickey
Daniel Thomas Craig
Deez Nuts
Deez
Deez Slippery Nutz
Left Nut
Jello Biafra
Justice for Ellen Rae Greenberg
Not Another White Man
Homer Simpson
Luke Skywalker
Tyrese Maxey
Glenn Rivers
Bruce Wayne
Al Schmidt
Giselle Fetterman
Charlie Manuel
Bradley Maule
Shrek
Jerry Sandusky
Eddie Vedder
Yasser Arafat
Baldini and the Bastards
Bill Cosby
Stop the Tyranny
Law and Ordr (sic)
Rufus T. Firefly
Penis
Donald Duck
Woodrow Woodpecker
Mick Jagger
No Cops
Poop
Claude Giroux
Doctor Orpheus
Von Hayes
Charles Barkley
Pee Wee Herman
Solomon Jones
Borat Sagdiyev
Oscar the Grouch
Eat My Ass Shapiro
Kanye West
My Cat Would Be Better
Art Vandelay
Jorts the Cat
Free Palestine
Don’t Be Moderate, Josh
Hugh Ass
Chuck Norris
The Most High God
ACAB
Eww Josh Shapiro
Harlie Brown and His Friends
Jalen Hurts
Dr. Seuss
The Guy Who Played Huggie Bear
Governor (Rep.):
None of the Above (3)
Joel Embiid (2)
Tom Ridge (2)
Cicero (2)
Mickey Mouse (2)
All Terrible
They All Suck
No Confidence
Jerry Garcia
Bobby Shmurda
Bob Marley
Poop
Chester Cheeto
Racism
Lt. Governor (Dem.):
Gritty (2)
Mickey Mouse (2)
Frank Rizzo
Dallas Sucks
Al Schmidt
Tyrese Maxey
America Ultra Maga Forever
Law and Order
Anyone Else
Pam Africa
Tipsy Noodle
Susan Sarandon
Dems Suck
Free Palestine
Princess Ellie
Chuck Norris
Furkan Korkmas
The Most High God
Diamond Joe Quimby
No Idiots Need Apply
Soldier Kelly
Hannity
Lt. Governor (Rep.):
None of the Above (3)
None – All Terrible
None
No Confidence
No Answer
They All Suck
Anyone Not on the Ballot
Cicero (2)
Al Schmidt (2)
Liz Cheney
Joe Mattress
Bugs Bunny
USA
Huey P. Newton
Poop
Danny Green
Goofy
U.S. Congress (Dem., 2nd):
Gritty (10)
Mickey Mouse (3)
Anyone But Boyle (4)
Anyone Else (3)
Not Boyle (2)
Get Boyle Out
Any Republican
None of the Above
None
Britney Spears
Jar Jar Binks
Tyrese Maxey
Joel Embiid
Conor Barwin
Dems Suck
Gilgamesh
A Free Irishman
Free Palestine
Tigger
Tony Stark
A Block of Wood
OJ Simpson
Asa Khalif
A Monkey
Sponge Bob
Goofy
Tucker Carlson
U.S. Congress (Rep., 2nd):
James Harden
Jan. 6 Guys in Jail Now
U.S. Congress (Dem., 3rd):
Joel Embiid (3)
Gritty (3)
Mickey Mouse (6)
Inanimate Carbon Rod
Will Smith
Joe “Ursurper Criminal” Biden (Chestnut Hill)
We Need Real Moderates
Law and Order
America
Mindy Isser
Spongebob Squarepants
Chuck Norris
The Most High God
U.S. Congress (Rep., 3rd):
Cicero (2)
Mickey Mouse (2)
Gritty
Johnny Depp
Kanye West
Richard Snowden
Vermin Supreme
Capt. Sig John Walker
Reparations
Dick van Dyke
Frank Rizzo
U.S. Congress (Dem., 5th) (36):
Paul McCartney
U.S. Congress (Rep., 5th) (13):
John Dougherty
Committeepersons (Dem.):
Gritty (9)
Latrice Bryant (5)
Hillary Clinton (2)
Jane Roe (2)
Anyone Else (2)
The Most High God (2)
Mark Lamont Hill (2)
Joel Embiid (2)
Rigged E Lection (a tiny division not too far from Northeast Philly Airport)
Someone Honest
Will Not Accept Them
Need New People
Hell No
None of the Above (2)
No Vote (2)
No
Yes (2)
Tommy “I Don’t Tip” West
Benny the Bull
Hoagie
NYC
McNabb
Oprah Winfrey
Mumia Abu Jamal
No CRT (East Falls)
Law and Order
Ramona Africa
Milo T. Dog II
Bob Will Reign
Boston Scott
Job Itzkowitz
Will Mega
Ben Simmons
Doc Rivers
Information
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Me (2)
Kevin Greenberg
Frank Rizzo
Dr. Strange
RZA
Mickey Mouse
K
L
Committeepersons (Rep.):
Me (2)
Reparations (2)
Cicero (2)
John the Baptist (2)
Jesus Christ (2)
Kanye West (2)
Gritty
Baba Booey
Pluto Mouse
John Gatti
Gallagher
Tucker Carlson
Rudy Giuliani
Andrew Giulani
Ben Franklin
Lou Holtz
No Confidence
State Committee (Dem., 1st):
Gritty (3)
Non Binary People Exist (3)
No (9)
Hell No
Danny Bauder
Jane Slusser
Brendan McPhillips
Ben Waxman (2)
Jon Geeting (5)
Phoebe Phanatic
Julia Terruso
Fred Rogers
Superman
Hulk
Green Lantern
Captain America
Wonder Woman
Mary Poppins
Shaft
Harriet Tubman
Rosa Parks
Jimmy Rollins
Shane Victorino
Chase Utley
Ryan Howard
Jayson Werth
Pedro Feliz
Charles “Chooch” Ruiz
Cole Hamels
Harry Dicks
Fuck Donald Trump
Donovan McNabb
Oliver Clothesoff
Mike Rotch
(Each word is a separate vote) Only An Informed Public Can Vote With Any Authority
Mickey Mouse
Pluto
Roe
Jane Roe (2)
Support Roe
My Body, Fuck Off
Fuck Supreme Court
Stack the Supreme Court
State Committee (Dem., 2nd):
Pat Harambe (3)
State Committee (Dem., 3rd):
Free Palestine (6)
Kevin Greenberg (6)
Tyrese Maxey
Latrice Bryant
Elon Musk
Kanye West
Pete Davidson
Kim Kardashian
Kourtney Kardashian
Khloe Kardashian
Kris Kardashian
Not a Single Good Person
State Committee (Dem., 4th):
The Most High God (5)
State Committee (Dem., 5th):
Gritty
Meek Mill
Kyle Rittenhouse
Milton Street
Rush Limbaugh
Kate Smith
Fred Sanford
State Committee (Dem., 7th):
YHWH (7)
Jesus (7)
A Black West Philly Native (3)
Law and Order (2)
No Marxist (2)
Latrice Bryant
Fuckhead Magoo
The Bumpus Dogs from A Christmas Story
A Sega Genesis (2nd Edition)
Joe Biden Impersonator
Mucky Muckmon
Launchpad McQuack
No CRT
State Committee (Dem., 8th):
Chuck Norris (4)
Gritty
Steve Jeltz
Mindy Isser
State Committee (Rep., All):
No One (6)
Poop (4)
Baba Booey (3)
Obi-Wan Kenobi
George Floyd Burnt Down Police (near Curran Fromhold Correctional Facility)
Latrice Bryant
Special Election (5th Senate):
Jason Kelce
Satan
Anyone Else
Handsome Hank
Special Election (6th Council):
Me (4)
Mickey Mouse (2)
Elmer Fudd
Gritty
Jason Kelce
Barney the Dinosaur
Anyone Else (3)
Anyone But Him
Any Republican
Anyone Other Than Driscoll
Jesus Christ
No Dem
Ben Dover
No One
Frank Rizzo
Fred Flintstone
State Senate (Rep., 2nd):
Joel Embiid
State Senate (Dem., 4th):
Anyone Else (3)
Kamala Laughing Hyena Harris (Chestnut Hill)
Nick Foles
Allen Iverson
State Rep. (Dem., 172th):
Gritty
State Rep. (Rep., 173rd):
Anyone Killed By Overt Racism
State Rep. (Dem., 174th):
Gritty
State Rep. (Dem., 175th):
Gritty (3)
Fix the Playground
My Dog
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Joe Mamma
Tobias Harris
State Rep. (Rep., 175th):
Jerry Garcia
State Rep. (Dem., 177th):
Anybody Else (5)
Gritty (2)
Joe Mamma
State Rep. (Dem., 180th):
King George
Joe Stalin
Police Commissioner Outlaw
State Rep. (Dem., 181st):
Mickey Mouse (2)
Elmo
Philly Phanatic
Anyone Other Than This Criminal
State Rep. (Rep., 182nd):
Gritty
State Rep. (Rep., 184th):
John Dougherty
State Rep. (Dem., 185th):
Vince Fumo
State Rep. (Dem., 186th):
Gritty (2)
Joel Hans Embiid
Kermit the Frog
Not Him
Literally Anyone Else
Freddie Krueger
Captain Sensible
Tyrese Maxey
Gandalf the Grey
Chuck Norris
State Rep. (Rep., 184th):
Gritty
Brandon Sucks
State Rep. (Dem., 188th):
Gritty
State Rep. (Rep., 190th):
Reparations
State Rep. (Rep., 192nd):
Cicero (2)
State Rep. (Dem., 194th):
Bryce Harper
Law and Order
Mickey Mouse
State Rep. (Dem., 195th):
Anyone Else (2)
Dump Krasner
Mickey Mouse
State Rep. (Dem., 197th):
Bronze Age Pervert
State Rep. (Dem., 200th):
Hillary Crook Lowlife Clinton
The Most High God
State Rep. (Rep., 203rd):
Dick Hurtz