Feb. 22, 2012: The day Pedobear relinquished its hold on the creepiest bear title.

What you’re looking at is the “Zim Bear” that the Tampa Bay Rays plan to hand out to fans attending the June 29 game against the Detroit Tigers at Tropicana Field.

Yes, it’s half-crusty old coach Don Zimmer, half-cuddly teddy bear and 100 percent terrifying. [YahooSports]

Point, Eldridge.

“Ever since ‘97, day one, he always cheated on me. He ain’t ever treat me right, always was with women. Like one day I was at home, he brought this nekkid woman home. He had his flashlights, shining the woman’s boobs like …” at which point Glenda does the age-old charades move for flashlights-on-the-boobs. “I’m like why you doin’ all that. I got boobs and I don’t need you to do all that.”

That’s when you can hear Eldridge — who said “I ain’t doin’ nothin” in the flashdance scenario — laughing in the background. Glenda takes the stance that it was not right of Eldridge to bring that woman home with him.

“What happen was we was having a get together for my birfday and my sister said uh, is it alright if a friend of hers, come, I went to school with her, we went to school togedder, I was like, ‘Yeah.’ The woman comes, she has a nice dress, shoes ‘n stuff, and that ain’t nekkid. There was people there. You can dress however you want! Wasn’t disrespect to me at all,” retorts Eldridge.

2-0, Eldridge.

Eldridge maintains that he has, in fact, been faithful. But that Glenda played like she was cool at first but then she morphed into the type of wife who thinks he trying to bang the mail lady if he goes outside. Even when she left him a few times.

Then, Glenda goes down some sort of road where she’s talking about French Fries. She has also been known for kicking his car. And for haggling him at work to the point where he gets fired ‘n shit.

Eldridge, who ain’t had a job since 2002 because he “been sick, disabled,” da mack.

Ain’t no way this Glenda nag getting a point off ‘im, even if she prancing ’round Judge Lynn’s chambers showing how she got all stealthy to slash his tires without arousing the suspicion of the dog.

Ok, maybe that does deserve a point.

Eldridge Maurice Bell 2, Glenda Bell 1. (F)

Site favorite Alicia Vitarelli is apparently heading to/is already in Hollywood for the Oscars. C’est Magnifique.

Anyway, she having something done to her eyelashes or eyebrows or eyesomethingorothers for a segment tonight. She will share a coupon code, too! Whatever that means.

I suspect there will be ample FWPOAV fodder next week. Perhaps Mrs. Vitarelli will be so kind as to offer tidings from L.A. for Philly Blunt readers.

More like he questions it, as does the rest of the world that thinks rationally. (Spare me the vote-of-the-people argument; if that was how America rolled, women still wouldn’t be able to vote and they’d stay home with their slaves.) But whatever. Politicians is what they are. Especially when they’re on the cusp of attaining the centrist not-a-dickhead status necessary to appeal to national voters. You know, like they were told to do to ensure a VP invitation.

The Joker jumping over The Dark Knight. On a skateboard. Yes! (H/T @suicidalalidol)

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

An affidavit of probable cause attached to the criminal complaint filed today in Bucks County district court indicates Horrocks showed no remorse when he was told by friends later that he had killed the man he hit.

“Oh, did I, really?” he was quoted in the affidavit as saying.

A friend, Sean Carey, told police that he and another man were drinking with Horrocks at the Stadium Bar just west of the crash scene. The three, who were all drunk, decided to go to DaBar a short drive away, Carey said in the affidavit.

Carey told police that Horrocks arrived 45 minutes later, saying he “hit someone” and his Audi “was pretty messed up.”

Oh yes, Charles, you really did. Now go fucking burn in Hell.

Just when you thought the reasons to dislike Californians had run dry, along comes this totally hammered bro getting maced over and again while other bros gallivant and giggle. WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!