Divorce Court: Maria Carmona vs. Derrick Cutler

Screen shot 2011-12-14 at 7.43.11 PM Screen shot 2011-12-14 at 7.43.31 PM Maria Carmona was a teenage dropout. Fourteen years old, chose moving in with this mama’s-boy, cheapskate cat Derrick Cutler instead of pursuing her education. Then, Derek totaled her car while he was cheating on her. Also let her dog (a pitbull named Janelle) run away (or sold it) apparently. And then, she got knocked up. She’s 18 years old. Cutie pie with hips wide to the sides. Short little dress, I think.

“I was driving her car and getting, you know, oral sex from this, this girl. I wasn’t paying attention. Knowwhati’msayin, and I hit a stop sign,” he explains.

Anyway, Judge Lynn’s all angry at the Carmona parents for letting their little girl make a choice between dude and school. But she knows she made the wrong decision. Went back. Graduated. In college now. This is lauded, but Judge Lynn also makes the point, loud and clear, that “sex is for grown folk.”

That it certainly is.

They also get to talking about how Derrick’s mammy hits them up for money so she can go out drinking. They’re kinda broken up, even though they’re living under the same roof.

When Maria mentions she’s pregnant, after being asked if they’re really broken up, Derrick — who’s wearing a shockingly bright maroon-ish shirt — chimes in with “yeah, yeah, we still having sexual relations and that’s what, that’s what led up to that situation.”

I feel dumber by being subjected to Derrickspeak.

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