Divorce Court: Erica vs. James Ohlin

Picture 7 Picture 8 What the hell is this freak they call “James Ohlin”? He’s like the fifth member of Crazy Town with a touch of clenched-jaw Jame Gumb inflection with a live-in-mammy complex.

Erica, who looks really fine albeit shoulder-heavy in the old pictures, doesn’t much like the live-in-mammy experience. Can’t blame her. The Ohlin matriarch looks like a Bachmann-eyed gypsy, but an angry judgmental one.

It’s a shame what this whole situation’s done to poor Erica. I mean, it looks like it’s narrowed her teeth and convinced her it’s a good idea to shield her ample bosom from the cameras, fer fuck’s sake. That latter fact is a mark against Ms. Ohlin; I wish she hadn’t decided this was a proper approach to daytime-television appearances.

One need only look to the Ashley Willecke Precedent for edification. She would be a runaway victor in this case had she followed Ms. Willecke’s lead, of this much I am certain. Another fact of which I am certain is the vapidity of an unemployed broad saving up $480 for “designer sunglasses” and then having the nutz to go on TV and talk openly about it.

OH HELL NO, I take all those breasticular inferences back after seeing some sexy-time photos she provides Judge Lynn to make a case that Jame threw away her sexy-time clothes. Well, wait, maybe there’s been some work done here. This is all so confusing. Simpletons, take leave of me.

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