Dating Naked: Season Two, Episode Six

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As everyone remembers, Kerri sent all three prospective keepers home last week, while Chris chose conniving Fallon over a decent lady who went skydiving topless one time. As everyone figured, Kerri’s gonna start angling for Chris’ attention despite Fallon’s conniving nature.

Anyway, they still got naked daters arriving on the island and the first one is Lauren from Pittsburgh who loves the Steelers, muscles and having rowdy fun. They played basketball on their date; Chris won.

She’s a party girl. And Fallon thinks she is “complete white trash” so she’ll get her wasted like the one who fell in the pool a few weeks back.

Fallon’s act is getting really old, fwiw. If she was a guy, she’d be a Outrage Nation’s date-rapist-to-be. Attractive on the outside; decrepit, morally.

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Kerri’s first date is Justin from Seattle, who is a “grower, not a shower.” For their date, they’ll play with gun and archery implements.

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She did well. He did not. So, she busted his proverbial balls about it. But “life is so beautiful,” he said, so let’s focus on positivity! They’re a match, fo sho.

Second dates!

Kerri meets Doug, an asthmatic/physical therapist/stand-up comic from NYC by way of RI. Their date is a stand-up comedy show variant. He talks about his fear of catching on fire insofar as how it relates to clothes catching flames while nudity doesn’t. Or something like that.

Chris’ date Amanda has a shaved head and they cut to commercial before they give any sort of explanation (supporting her mother, who was diagnosed with ‘stage four breast cancer.’ She’s a bodybuilding dance major.

“Could you squat me?” asks Chris.

“Yeah,” responds Amanda.

They tap-dance for their date.

“Amanda is the realest chick I’ve met yet,” says Chris of the chick who can bench press him.

Fallon, of course, is dismissive of everything and everybody not called Fallon. But as least self-realizes her unrelenting need for attention. And it’s not like she’s lyingly confident.

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A drunken performance atop a pool table may well have led to her demise, though, as Chris don’t be liking what the Uber-Tipsy Fallon is cooking anymore. It’d be the ultimate irony that the booze she used to grease the skids for other nude contestants to get booted proved to be her downfall as well. As Staten Island Amanda said, she was the lone Chrislady who didn’t come off badly in this situation.

Selection time!

Kerri’s up first. She has kind things to say about both, but Justin stays with a cocktail umbrella tucked behind his ear and the support of his vanquished foe.

Chris’ turn. Lauren, good time but wild child and weakest connection. Which is a shame, because that means it’ll be Fallon for another week.

Amanda defied the notion of what he deemed attractive in the past.

Fallon. Oh Fallon. Last night was tough to see, says he.

AND HE CHOSE AMANDA!!!

GET TO STEPPIN’, FALLON. YOUR SALTY TEARS ARE DELICIOUS.

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