Divorce Court

Divorce Court: Maria Carmona vs. Derrick Cutler

12/14/2011
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Divorce Court: Maria Carmona vs. Derrick Cutler

Maria Carmona was a teenage dropout. Fourteen years old, chose moving in with this mama’s-boy, cheapskate cat Derrick Cutler instead of pursuing her education. Then, Derek totaled her car while he was cheating on her. Also let her dog (a pitbull named Janelle) run away (or sold it) apparently. And then, she got knocked up.…

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Divorce Court: Sonya Boyland vs. Marlo Watkins

12/14/2011
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Divorce Court: Sonya Boyland vs. Marlo Watkins

I’m going to try to be nice with this one, but that’s difficult to do when one Divorce Court contestant looks as if their hair is drawn on and the other seems to be a no-necked jowl hoarder. But enough about that. Miss Boyland says it was bad from the start. As in he knocked…

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Divorce Court: Gaynell vs. Willie Price

11/30/2011
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Divorce Court: Gaynell vs. Willie Price

So, Gaynell Price is all like Willie don’t take care of me and my five boys so she wants a divorce after six years. She starts chirping about how he stays at the barber shop for 12 hours even if he’s only cutting two or four heads that day. They then go into a long…

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Divorce Court: Sara Metwalli and Luis Delerme

11/30/2011
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Divorce Court: Sara Metwalli and Luis Delerme

This here’s another Before the Vows episode. Ms. Metwalli “is hesitant” because Louis has cheated on her. Like, “constantly.” But it was, like, in high school. Fine, it was post high school, too. When they show her from behind the dais, you can see that Ms. Metwalli chose the cocktail-server motif when it came to…

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Divorce Court: Kevin vs. Irine Kitchen

11/23/2011
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Divorce Court: Kevin vs. Irine Kitchen

So, Kevin and Irine have been together for 12 years. They thought their love was “magic.” But the magic, it’s gone. Now, he’s all like “her middle name is Drama.” And she’s all like “he always works against me” and she wants 10 grand for “mental anguish.” It’s funny when Judge Lynn says “Mr. Kitchen”…

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Divorce Court: Debra vs. Gregory Brouchet

11/18/2011
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Divorce Court: Debra vs. Gregory Brouchet

Debra Brouchet says she’s never seen her man Gregory sober in all the three years they been together since they met at the “bus stop in Las Vegas.” However, Gregory says he’s sober today. Of course, he calls Judge Lynn “sir” instead of “ma’am” when making that claim, so think of that what you will.…

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Divorce Court: Darci Lyon vs Mark DiBello

11/17/2011
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Divorce Court: Darci Lyon vs Mark DiBello

Well this is a first. Mark DiBello, he’s in Judge Lynn’s Divorce Court. But Darci Lyon, she isn’t. She’s appearing via satellite. Here’s the first thing they show freakish lad saying during his lone two-part appearance: “I consider myself a spiritual leader for all women.” Go on. “I love all human beings.” Get out the…

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Divorce Court: Lisa Headrick vs. Michael Stambaugh

11/17/2011
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Divorce Court: Lisa Headrick vs. Michael Stambaugh

Oof. Michael’s a controlling bouncer who met his ladyfriend Lisa while on the job. They’re here for a Before the Vows episode, what with them not knowing whether they should get married, as they’re engaged to do. He digs her because he makes her laugh. He doesn’t like her because she selfishly burns through money…

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Divorce Court: Bridgett Martin vs. Tyrone Martin

11/09/2011
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Divorce Court: Bridgett Martin vs. Tyrone Martin

One look at Tyrone Martin, and you’re on his side. He is smoove. When he gets dressed, “I get dressed.” And appearing before Judge Lynn was one of those times Tyrone done got dressed. I mean, dag, that jacket done got white, pink, silvery gray and all up in it. His tie is pink. His…

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Divorce Court: Silvana Miller vs. Kevin Carter

11/04/2011
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Divorce Court: Silvana Miller vs. Kevin Carter

Here we have Silvana Miller. She has a three-year-old kid with her boyfriend of six years, Kevin. They’re here in Divorce Court so Judge Lynn can decree whether she believes they should get married. Turns out Silvana is a money grubber, though. Kevin calls her a “flat-out gold digger” who refuses to pay bills. She…

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