Bridezillas: Minyon & Jennifer

Picture 3 Picture 1 You’re asking for trouble when you name your kid “Minyon.” Especially because you know the proper spelling is Mignon.

She’s a 32-year-old dental assistant/”diva of all the divas, baby” from Tampa. She’s marrying some cat named Foster. She operates under the misguided assumption that she’s attractive. She asks friends and family to compliment her on her looks. They’re already sick of her five minutes into the episode. Hell, they’re were probably already sick of her when she turned five.

Her wedding theme is “a peacock.”

Her cousin Taylor real talks the fact that Minyon “was just being a bitch” when the makeup artist came over to try and put lipstick on a pig.

The bridesmaids are having none of this. So, she breaks a glass and storms off.

This one is a pure cunt.

Transparent to the point that anyone around can see this, too.

Especially when she says the flower girls “have to find dresses on their own,” and if they don’t like right, they’re not in the wedding because Minyon does NOT need to have flower girls in HER wedding if SHE doesn’t WANT TO!

Minyon then gets into a rasslin’ fight with her sister when they go to work out or something. They have to get physically pulled apart. The sister, who apparently gets kicked out of the wedding, should have beaten the fuck out of her with a bat or golf club.

That’s the type of horrible person Bridezilla Minyon is.

I wish she wasn’t on next week’s episode.

Oh, Jennifer‘s back. A 911 call is apparently involved in her wedding day. But before that, the bachelorette party at some Irish bar. She’s talking about how she’s gonna #doshot and shot and shot. She says she spent $800 or something on this party. This is a lady who made a fuss when she had to spend $20 to get the dress tailored.

“How many bitches out there get married at least four or five or six times,” she says, before throwing back a shot. “If they can do it, I can do it.”

When the limo driver says they can’t have booze in the car since there’s an 18-year-old at the party that’s moving on from the Irish joint, the classy broad snuck airline bottles into the mix. She also notes that she pissed herself. But that she’s ready to have a rockin’ party and “that’s what it’s all about.”

Then, she proceeds to get into a yelling match with someone about the fire hydrant outside the club. It includes the lines “do you want me to hit you in the face” and “get the fuck out of my face.”

Fast forward to the wedding day, and she stops off at the liquor store to grab “a few nips” “that no one can see” because, well, this one loves doing shots to the point that she’s bawling her eyes out in the limo as they pull up to the wedding venue, which is some sort of waterfront pagoda in what seems to be an unkempt public park.

She’s actually remarkably more tolerable in the second episode of her Zillas fellowship and, even though she flashes the ladies in the bathroom when she gets a belly button ring installed DURING THE RECEPTION, I almost feel bad when half the tables are empty at the reception.

It’s sad-clown time when they show her dancing on the floor alone, though. :_(

But, it’s most certainly not a good sign that they’re already at the reception with about 20 minutes left in the show. Shit’s gonna get real messy, the commercial teases seem to hint.

It does.

She loses her shit when the bartender goes to the bathroom, and when a bridesmaid refuses an interview with the Zillas crew. To that end, she’s sitting on the parking-lot ground in her wedding dress and a tractor trailer drives about 15 feet behind her honking for the cameras.

She’s totally fucking insane.

1 comment for “Bridezillas: Minyon & Jennifer

  1. September 14, 2012 at 02:47

    I love Bridezillas

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