So insane are matters in the Syphilis Capital of the Universe that, on a Whorioles fan forum, this was the title of a recent post …
The best last-place team you’ll ever see
Fuckin’ adorable.
But to a certain extent, I concur.
Because the number of games the Baltimore Whorioles must lose to surpass the 87.5-loss threshold is...
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Fine. New manager’s lit a fire ‘neath the Whorioles, hasn’t he? Whatever. Even Houdini got caught up in his chains from time to time. But, what I know is this:
- The Whorioles got shut-out by the mighty Seattle Mariners tonight.
- There are 42 games left in the season.
- Of the 120 games played thus...
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With today’s 5-4 loss to the powerhouse Kansas City Royals, the Whorioles not only closed out Juan Samuel’s brief managerial reign with a 17-34 record, dropped Cy Young candidate Kevin Millwood to 2-11 and established a SMN* of …
… but with a season tally of 32 wins and 73 losses, they need to close...
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* – tracking the Baltimore Whorioles magnificent march toward an 87.5+ loss season, all so I win a twenty-dollar bill, yo.
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Thank you, Baltimore, for throwing the towel so very, very in that you refuse to even Tase.
In related news, the SMN* sits at 23.
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I’m going to break with jersey-number-representing-the-SMN form. It’s 24. The O-No’s have to win 44 of 68 remaining games for me to lose The Bet of All Bets. Ain’t happening.
But mysteriously, the Worst News Bears of Balmer actually drew the First Lady for a game the other night. Amazing, really. See?
Caption: To a...
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It’s amazing to type All-Star in the same sentence as Baltimore Orioles, but rules is rules, and since one player from each team goes to the MLB’s annual Great Marketing Event, you will hear second-baseman Ty Wigginton’s name at some point.
So, the syphilis capital of the world has that going for it. It also...
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If I might borrow a photo caption from CNNSI.com’s MLB baseball power-rankings feature, verbatim:
On pace to lose 112 games, the Baltimore Orioles are on pace to becoming one of the worst teams in MLB’s modern era.
Let me repeat and bold that beaut …
On pace to lose 112 games, the Baltimore Orioles are on pace...
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* – tracking the Baltimore Whorioles magnificent march toward an 87.5+ loss season, all so I win a twenty-dollar bill, yo.
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Before Saturday night’s showdown at Camden Yards, the New York Mutts hadn’t won consecutive road games in nearly 11 months. Then, along came the Orioles!
Well, I don’t know how long it’d been since the Mutts won three road games in a row. But, let the record reflect that new streak-keeping commenced before dinner on...
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