It’s a very special Before Your Vows episode of Divorce Court. Rad. Ashley and Nelson are all about getting Judge Lynn’s blessing after four years of dating. Here’s my initial impressions: Ashley Willecke looks like Kim Kardashian, but hot. And Nelson Walker is, well, whatever. He’s not even registering on the screen right now. When I say hot, I mean happily parting with $400 at the strip club hot. Big ole rump in a tight black dress. Big ole breastuses in a barerly-covering flesh purple top, too.
Asked what he loves about Ashley, he said she’s caring, quite wifely. And Ashley says he’s a crack-up, and a caring one at that. But they both note they have some kinks to work out.
Like racial issues, and the snide comments they evince, even from relatives. Ashley admits some relatives aren’t all that racially sensitive.
“She actually acts blacker than me!” Nelson declares, noting that she’s got some big ole speakers in her ride and tracks in her hair. She does talk like a Flavor of Love contestant. And she gets mad when black girls look at them all like, ‘what you doin’ with the white girl?’
Ashley says Nelson’s self-absorbed, preening in front of mirror and hot girlfriend after 15 minutes of workout. He kisses himself in the mirror.
“We used to be way more affectionate. It’s hard to be when all he cares about is me pleasing him, him not pleasing me. It’s not reciprocal,” says Ms. 400.
“When I was in college, she used to give me loving every day, all the time. She knew if I went out, and I went straight, I’d get taken care of, but I wuddn’t gone do that,” Nelson says. “Now that we’re in a new phase of our life, things just take a total U-turn, it’s like she stay in bed, she put a pillow between her. … I make dinner for her. I make chicken fingers!”
She’s Catholic. He’s Christian. They consider this a religious difference. Because her friend is athiest. And they all went to the strip club sometime. Nelson thinks Ashley might be cheating on him. With her friend named Linda. The athiest. Who says she finds Ashley attractive but don’t hit on her. Nelson shows a slip that he doesn’t think Ashley’s breasts can fit up in, so he thinks it’s Lindas.
Flavored lotion comes into play, as well.
Fuck, I don’t know what’s going on here. If hot Kim Kardashian wants to wear nip-slippable silk, hook up with her ladyfriend, why you gone go complain about it, Nelson? I mean, look at her…
Judge Lynn say Nelson need to fix his head and stop worrying about his white girl acting black.