Tuesday, when I asked if Skye (of Skye vs Isiah Patterson I and II) was all too big for her brithces’n’shit by going all one-name like Cher, I threw it out there that it might just be a TV-listings glitch just in case.
My bad, Skye. You seemed like a decent enough lady by the end of your 44 minutes.
Take a minute and look at Angelet Wilkerson and Spencer Wilkerson.
Thank you, Christ, thank you for these people.
Angelet: He’s too flirtacious and too friendly with his female clients. Let me tell you what happened: One day he come home and I get this little tap on my shoulder that’s sayin’ … (Crouching down as if she’s whispering into the ear of someone sitting down facing away from her.) … Hey girl. Your boy is (short pause) messing around. You betta, you betta find out what’s goin’ on.
She then decided to look into what the voice was saying. Well, she “searchin’ and snoopin’ through his personal bid’ness and found a card for a stripper.
Angelet: Why would he need a BIZ Nis card from a stripper when he has a WIFE?
Spencer: Your honor, I had a business card, but this was to a constituent. It was strictly about business. I was helping her…
Angelet: BIZ Nis?
Judge Toler: Sssshhh. (While Angelet’s smirkin’.)
Spencer: Thank you, ma’am. I was helping this young lady out. I was assisting her with her career. She was a stripper, true enough.
Judge Toler: How are you gonna assist a stripper with her career?
Spencer: How you do help a stripper with her … I basically do voice-over work, your honor. I was putting together a, a, a component that was next an electronic press kit. For her. She told me, ‘hey, I need to do something to promote my business.’ Promotional and advertising. That’s what we’re talking about. Multimedia formats.
Spencer testifies that Angelet’s snooping through all that.
Angelet says that’s what all wives do.
Spencer says she’s clingy, and would flip out if he told Judge Toler she’s “voluptuous.”
She questions his ethics.
Judge Toler actually bangs the gavel.
Spencer claims she follows him out the house to the point where she hid in the back of a Jeep and popped up when people got in it. Angelet wears an non-denial expression. Then she says, “Because it felt good.”
The conversation then veers to their German Shepherd (a beautiful, well-trained dog as has ever graced earth if you believe Spencer.
Spencer: No, no, the dog is very well-trained. Not my wife. (He’s pointing at her.) The dog is very trained. Very well trained.
He’s right. She let the Shepherd out of the house, with its leash in its mouth, to look for Spencer.
Spencer: She said I sent a dog lookin’ for a dog.
Angelet: You was bein‘ a dawg.
Spencer: And this is what she did.
Spencer’s a fashion designer. He made the outfit Angelet’s wearing now “that she loves.” (Her words.) She shares these facts because of one day that she came home early from work.
Angelet: I come home and guess who I find? Some strange woman. In my living room. In my outfit. (They pan to Spencer, who’s totally laughing.) Instead of me being the crazy wife, I decided to reverse it. I DECide TO leave. Nooo! When I leave, I waltz out to the door. Go to get in the car. Mr. Wilkerson here decides to follow me. MEANwhile, I’m gettin’ in the car, already put the car in reverse. No, no, no (to Spencer, who’s trying to interrupt) I put the car in reverse. I put the car in reverse. Mr. Wilkerson ‘Where you goin? Come back here. You ain’t goin nowhere. Where you goin? If you goin, I’m goin too. Come back here. Get out the car. Stop. Stop’
So, he jumps on the hood of the car. I said, ‘If you don’t get off the hood of the car, there’s where you be, I’m givin you three seconds. You need to get off the car. NoooOOOOOO. For Mr. Wilkerson THAT WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH. Mr. Wilkerson, ‘Get out or I’m not goin nowhere. I say ‘If you don’t get off the car, that’s where we’ll be.’ He didn’t get off the car, I put the car in reverse. Back OUT the DRIVEway. I went. In a hurry. So I speed out onto a main road, Mr. Wilkerson still on the hood of the car. I go down the main road. I pass an intersection. We crossed the intersection. Where’s Mr. Wilkerson? Still on the hood of the car. (Her hands are grasping the front of the Divorce Court dais.)
Mr. Wilkerson has his left hand on his forehead in court. Then he’s waving it in the air.
Angelet: Meanwhile, he’s doing all like this. (Flailing) We both ducking and dodgin. (She’s ducking and dodging.)
Spencer: No. No. No. No. No. No. Your honor, your honor, your honor, your honor. My wife comes home and I’m making an outfit that I already got a down payment for. The young lady. Older woman by the way (pointing at the judge) who picked her outfit up.
Angelet tried it on and wanted to keep it.
Spencer: So I did NOT make the outfit for her. Didn’t make the outfit for her.
He keeps calling her Tangela I think. He points out that she was driving in reverse, about 45 miles an hour.
My mind’s blown. I can’t do this anymore. Especially because Angelet became this because she was watching a lot of the show Cheaters. I have the first season DVD.
Fuck Joey Greco.
Tommy Grand was the fucking man.