Listen, I’m not one of those people who like to say, “Hey, look, someone said something nice about a story I wrote.” In fact, when I was M.E. of the City Paper, I’d go out of my way to run letters to the editor from folks who chose to insult me.
But, I got this email in regard to the posts I’ve written about Polina Kadiyska‘s horribly tragic death via South Philly hit-and-run, and the shoddy coverage it was afford in one instance. The writer asked me not to publicly name them, but allowed me to post it.
It meant a lot to me, and I felt it important to show that forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget.
As the parent of a boarding student at The Rock School, I want to thank you for defending Polina in your writings. This tragedy has been so beyond difficult to try to deal with. Polina’s death has brought home the fragility of life to this dance community with an unrelenting vengeance.
I will tell you that when my child first contacted me, to tell me about the accident, I started asking for everyone to pray for Polina, her family, the defendant, and for a miracle. But my compassion for the defendant quickly began to erode because of the comments of his oleaginous attorney. It takes everything within me to try and remember that this defendant has also destroyed his own life. So, as difficult as it is to do, I still pray for him and his family.
I will forgive him, because I will not let the bitterness destroy me, or my faith, as well. But understand my definition of forgiveness: it is NOT saying to someone that it is alright. It will never be alright. It is about what I do with this rage, and grief, and pain. Forgiveness is letting all that go; surrendering it to the higher power. Otherwise evil wins.
But the defendant has responsibility in this. Now is the time for him to “man up.” He needs to accept responsibility for his actions. The story he and his attorney are telling now is pretty sorry.