Daily Archives: 10/03/2011

Bridezillas: Kim & Ruby

10/03/2011
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Bridezillas: Kim & Ruby

Kim, a roomy gal, is an accountant and event planner. She’s marrying some smoove cat named Walter. Actually, she says she married smoove cat Walter 10 years ago and, four years in, talked about renewing their vows and whatnot. This makes no fucking sense at all. WHY ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE RENEWING THEIR VOWS ON…

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Divorce Court: Ashlyn Douglas vs. Nicholas Drinkard

10/03/2011
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Divorce Court: Ashlyn Douglas vs. Nicholas Drinkard

Oh sweet Christ, the Mountain People have taken over Judge Lynn’s courtroom. Nicholas, who has a flat face, calls Ashlyn, who has one of them sexy Southern accents, bad names. They’ve been living together for four years now, bought a house together three years ago but don’t know whether they want “to commit to each…

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Divorce Court: Chaka Colbert vs. Fred Elem

10/03/2011
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Divorce Court: Chaka Colbert vs. Fred Elem

So, Judge Lynn presents Chaka und Fred as “the modern couple” because 1) Chaka has an online shoe business 2) Fred is “holding down a job” and 3) they were talking marriage. Rockwellian in their cohabitative portraiture. Monalisaic in repose. Oh say, look closely and you see a ragged-toofed, crooked-haired hoodrat with subpar command of…

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Hit-and-Run America, Vol. CCXLIV

10/03/2011
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Hit-and-Run America, Vol. CCXLIV

An ongoing collection of unsolved hit-and-run cases, with a focus on car/pedestrian incidents, from across the country since Jan. ‘010. If you know something about any of these incidents, or one that I’ve missed, do the right thing and call the police, even anonymously. 1916. Kansas City, Mo. Sept. 30. Pedestrian suffers non-life-threatening injuries when…

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